


The Only Moment We Were Alone

by intelligentle



Category: Chicago Code
Genre: Chicago Police, Drama, F/M, Family Drama, Romance, Thriller
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2011-11-23
Updated: 2012-06-10
Packaged: 2017-10-26 11:24:15
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 6
Words: 23,321
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/282476
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/intelligentle/pseuds/intelligentle
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Two years after Gibbons' demise, Teresa, Jarek, Caleb and others have moved on and up into their lives. Jarek sees that his life with Teresa is more fulfilling, but someone may be watching in the shadows behind him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Proposal

**Author's Note:**

  * For [zhivchik](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=zhivchik), [Ashli Nicole Garza](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=Ashli+Nicole+Garza).



Folding the note over he placed it on her desk, smiling as he walked out of her office. It had been a good day full of wins and hardly any losses. As he walked down the hallway and into the large station room, he thought about where she was. The smile stayed on his face.

Standing by his desk, he looked around the empty room and thought of what he was about to do. Two years had passed since they had joined together to go after a political mogul bent on tainting the one place his heart belonged to. He was ungrateful at the time because it all seemed so unattainable. Then the secrets unfolded and they kept unfolding, until he felt himself losing control. Luckily she had been there or he may have gone over the edge. He hadn't meant the things he'd said to her that night in the hospital. He was so full of rage and revenge that he wasn't thinking straight. Going back on the promise he'd made to her had been a severe breach of trust, and he worked like hell to make sure he got it back. He'd been so lucky back then. So lucky now that she accepted him not only as a police officer, but as a friend, a best friend. He looked up, hearing her voice faintly coming from the nearby locker room. Things had definitely changed. Her voice rose and fell in pitch as he strained to listen. After a few moments he figured he'd better just walk over there, just to listen but not be seen.

The door was ajar just enough for Jarek to peek inside. His eyes scanned the room once before he settled on any one group of people. The more experienced officers Jarek had known long before he even came to the force were standing in the back, keeping a watchful eye on the younger, more inexperienced ones who stood close to their leader. Jarek's eyes then landed on his partner Caleb who was standing off to the side away from either group.

Caleb had come into his own over the years he'd been Jarek's partner. The extreme loyalty Jarek now felt towards him had not been easy to come by. He remembered how he felt when Caleb was initially assigned to him, oh great here comes another _hot-shot-fresh-out-of-the-academy-do-gooder._ What am I supposed to do with him? Back then, he hadn't realized how much Caleb really meant to him, so much so that he couldn't imagine being down in the gutters now without him. Finally, Jarek felt he had been standing too long and left the room.

She unfolded the note, smiling as she recognized the unruly scrawl across the paper. She'd hoped it was him; she wanted to continue having secret rendezvous. To her, it was something they could both hang on to, away from the public eye where they both were always scrutinized.

 _Meet me at 7pm tonight. You know the place._

He stood on the Michigan Avenue Bridge overlooking the quiet, but dark Chicago River. He was leaning over the railing, his elbows resting on it while the reflections in the water made him contemplate the past two years. His job, his family, his brother, Gibbons, Teresa, _suicide_. _Whoa, where did that come from?_ Shrugging it off, he blamed it on the fact that he was standing on a bridge over looking an ominous river that if he had the choice he could jump into and end everything there. He quickly reorganized his thoughts and forced himself to think of things other than that.

Everything had changed ever since Gibbons had been put away. _Everything._ His life was more fulfilling now than it had ever been while working for the PD. The drama of his past, and his relationship with his brother were distant memories in his mind. Even his relationship with Teresa was respected among his , peers, and was not being subjected to office gossip as it had been in the past. He was grateful for all of it, grateful in that in some ways he had been given a second chance.

"Do you have a job proposition for me?"

 _Teresa, always bringing up the memories, aren't ya?_

Turning around, he acknowledged her with a smile. "No, unfortunately I do not have that for you, but something tells me you may already have a well-earning, well-respected job on your shoulders."

She came out of the shadows and he could see she hadn't changed into something for the occasion. He didn't mind. There was no need to.

She was waiting for him to say something, but he stood there staring at her, probably for the same reason. So instead she took the initiative, walking to him and kissing him. Jarek leaned against the railing, while she wrapped her arms around him, the moments they spent alone together suddenly filling the space between them.

"Thanks, I needed that," she said. "I don't usually get to do this often."

"I should be the one saying thank you and what do you mean?"

"We just haven't done this in a while, and I kind of missed it."

"We're here now."

"Yes, we are."

It suddenly became quiet; the only sound was the wind whipping off the river and through Teresa's hair. And then Jarek knew Teresa had no idea why she was here.

 _It shouldn't be like this. I should have a million things to say to her! Why do I always choke when the perfect moment arrives?_ His mind screamed in the darkness.

When he noticed Teresa looking at him strangely he found his composure and said, "There's a reason why I wanted you to come here tonight, to this place." He finally saw the worried look replaced with peaked curiosity on Teresa's face. Feeling a bout of nervous come on, he kept talking. "I feel as though this place has become our own little…refuge so to speak for when we can be ourselves and not have to worry about our job. And I know that we've had rocky times over these past two years, and we've overcome so much and…"

He stepped closer to her which forced Teresa to look nowhere but into his eyes.

"….you know me. You've known me better than anyone ever has." He reached a hand to caress her face. "I don't know what I was thinking all those years ago when I decided to leave you. I made a mess of my life then, and I am hoping against everything that the way things are between us have changed that."

Teresa couldn't speak. She was so transfixed on what he was saying, waiting for the climax.

He took her hands in his, and looking down, said "I have a very important question to ask you, Teresa." He met her eyes again, and Teresa's heart beat faster when she saw him go to his knees. Jarek saw she was trying to hold back her emotions. He didn't want her to. He wanted her to live this moment as he was living it now.

"I think you and I are something special, Teresa. It's something I've known for a long time and it's probably why its taken me so long to realize it. You became much more than a friend to me, you became my life."

He saw a wide smile spread across her face. He returned it never leaving her gaze.

You've helped me through some of the toughest times and I don't know what I would've done without you. I'm a better person today because of you, and it's why I want to spend the rest of my life with you."

He then reached into his pocket and produced a golden band with a single diamond. Teresa marveled at it.

"Will you marry me?"

She was going to ask him when it was her turn to talk, but instead pulled him off the ground and leaning him, kissed him slowly.

He pulled them apart and looking down at her asked, "Is that a yes?"

Feeling breathless, she nodded. "Yes, Jarek. Yes, I will marry you." Instinctively, she held out her left hand for him and he slipped the band onto it. She then felt his lips on her again, and as she pulled him tighter to her she knew she wanted to be in his arms forever.

\------------------------------------------------

A beam of red light reflected off a nearby building and suddenly went crazy when it landed in a forbidden spot. The beam moved slowly up and away from its intended target.

"Shit."

"What happened?"

"Nothing."

"Why'd you say "shit" then ?"

"I almost caught them in my sights and if I did it would have blinded them. They would have seen it."

"Okay, so glad that didn't happen. What are they doing now?"

"They're getting hitched."

The cop turned and looked at his partner.

"What?"

The younger man's gaze never left the view from the window.

"The Super and her lap dog. He proposed. She agreed. They're getting married and sucking face down there on the bridge."

He ignored his partner's annoyed tone.

"Wouldn't this be the perfect time then?"

"No."

"Why? We'll spoil it for them! It'll be huge news!"

Finally losing his nerves, he turned from the window so fast his partner thought he was going to drop the gun.

He held up a finger in front of his face. "No. We wait until it's the right time. When it hurts so bad she won't even think of living anymore."


	2. The Wedding

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (*) Asterisks with numbers denote songs to be played during this chapter.
> 
> (**1)Bridal Chorus by Wagner  
> (**2)Wedding March Recessional by Felix Mendelsshon  
> (**3)Wedding March Recessional #2 by Camile Saints Saens  
> (**4)Forever by Chris Brown  
> (**5) So Close by Jon McLaughlin (from the movie "Enchanted")

You are cordially invited to celebrate  
the marriage of

Teresa Ann Colvin

To

Jarek James Wysocki

on Sunday the fifteenth of April  
two-thousand and fourteen

at

Holy Name Cathedral  
735 N State St  
Chicago, Illinois 60611  
at  
half past nine o’clock in the morning

Reception to follow

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

April 15, 2014 – 8:00am

Caleb watched Jarek as he put the finishing touches on his dress uniform. The sun shone brightly through the window bathing him in an almost ethereal light. Standing in front of the mirror he was trying to fix something on his jacket. Caleb fidgeted, wanting to help but afraid to ask. The air was thick with the nervous tension of the day as time quickly ticked by. After a few moments of not trying to catch Jarek’s eye he finally said:

“Do you need help?”

Jarek stopped moving which immediately set Caleb on edge for whatever harsh words Jarek was going to throw at him.

They both held their gazes for a moment before Jarek dropped his arms and said in mock annoyance, “Alright yes, you can help. I didn’t make you best man for nothing.” They both smiled at each other before Caleb sheepishly walked over and began fixing the numerous badges Jarek had earned throughout his career.

“Are you nervous?”  
“No.”  
A small smile appeared out of the corner of Caleb’s mouth.  
“Well, you should be. It’s your wedding day.”  
“Yeah, but I’m not.”  
“Course you aren’t, liar.”  
Jarek was trying to hold in his feelings as much as he could, but at this he couldn’t help but smile.  
“See. See, I told you you are!,” he said finishing up with his uniform.  
“Thanks, Caleb.”  
“No problem.” He moved back to the corner of the room he’d been standing in while Jarek regarded himself in the mirror.

“I always thought this should have been done a long time ago. You and Teresa.”  
“Yeah, why do you say that?”  
“I dunno. I guess I always saw that you were meant for each other. No one else really ever came that close to what she is.”  
“And what “is” she?, turning around towards him.  
Caleb didn’t have to think for a second about what he was going to say next.  
“She’s a beautiful and incredibly smart woman, Jarek. And you are very lucky to have her.”

Jarek said nothing, but appreciated the comment while turning back to the mirror. “Well, what about you? I mean, you’ve come a long way from those early days.”  
“Yes.”  
Jarek turned resting his hands on a nearby couch, a smirk on his face. “Teresa seems to be taking a liking to you.”  
Caleb blushed.  
“Yes, I know. I know she’s thinking about giving you a promotion soon,” he said nodding.  
“Yeah well, I’ve heard that’s only a rumor.”  
Jarek gave him a knowing glance before standing up straight.  
Spreading his arms wide he said, “How do I look?”  
Caleb joined him in the center of the room. “Like a man who’s about to get married.” He then gathered Jarek into a hug he wasn’t expecting, but oddly returned it.  
“Oh and one more thing,” he said pulling away. I just want to say thanks for sticking by me all these years. It’s been an honor serving with you.”  
Jarek’s eyebrows furrowed and the look stayed on his face longer than Caleb expected.

Suddenly Caleb looked at his watch. “Is Teresa here yet?”  
Jarek had turned to the window and was looking out into the bright Sunday morning.  
“She’s supposed to be here already.”  
At that moment a black town car pulled up in front of the church.  
Caleb joined him at the window just as he said, “She’s here.” Both turned away from the window and walked towards the door. Jarek was about to walk through it when Caleb stopped him.  
“Where are you going?”  
“I’m going to see her.”  
“No, you’re not.”  
The severity of Jarek’s glare almost made Caleb shudder.  
“You’re not supposed to see the bride until she’s walking down the aisle.”  
Jarek put his arm on the doorjamb above his head. “Oh really? Since when did you become an expert on weddings? I don’t see you walking down the aisle.” As he finished the sentence he saw the anger fade and be replaced with another smirk.  
“Trust me Jarek.”  
The smirk faded slowly from Jarek’s face.  
“You’ve seen her?”  
Caleb nodded.  
“And?”  
Caleb could not hide the smile from his face. “You’re going to _die_ when you see her.”

9:00am

Teresa was late and she knew it. It had taken her too long to fix her hair into the elegant bun fixed with a pearl-like headband that she wanted, and then too long to tie a simple blue ribbon around the bun to complete the police theme. Luckily she had her dress on, a simple, but elegant floor length Grecian-like number she fell in love with at a bridal boutique. It was a bit off for her tastes, but she loved the styling and the way it draped over her. She wanted to look stunning for Jarek and she knew this was the one.

Sitting at her armoire, she suddenly looked down at her nails and for a fleeting second thought they hadn’t been done as well. Then she scanned the room and decided it was just a little bit too lavish.  
Sighing, she rested her chin in her hand. _Calm down, Teresa. Everything will be all right. You spent a lot of time planning this with Jarek and everything will go as it should be._ Rolling her eyes at her thoughts, she thought _“Yeah right.”_

At that moment, her trusted friend and Maid of Honor Mary walked hurriedly into the room carrying the bouquet she was to hold while walking down the aisle.

“The guests are all starting to file in and we agreed on Caleb walking you down the aisle, right? How are you holding up?” Mary had said all this so fast that Teresa could only nod in agreement. “Yes that all sounds fine, I guess.”  
Mary fixed a reluctant smile on her face and pulled a chair as elegantly as she could without ruining her dress to sit next to her.  
“Teresa, that wasn’t very convincing.”  
“Sorry, I’m just feeling overwhelmed right now.”  
“Well, I would be too if I was marrying who you’re marrying.”  
Teresa raised her eyebrows.  
“What? He’s very handsome and has a lot of respect within the club and well you know we all love him.”  
Teresa was touched. “Well, I’ve seen the way you look at Caleb one too many times.”  
Mary turned crimson and slapped Teresa playfully on the hand. “What’s that supposed to mean?”  
“I don’t know, but I think wedding bells are going to be ringing for you soon.”  
“Teresa, stop it!,” she said, giggling.  
Both had to take a moment to calm themselves before Mary said, “Oh, I saw both of them walking down the hall to get ready. They both looked really excited,” she said with glee.  
Teresa smiled widely and her eyes landed on the clock. It was 9:20.  
She turned back to Mary who said with anticipation:  
“It’s time. Are you ready?”

9:25am

Teresa took Mary’s hand as she descended the steps to the main floor. Her dress gently flowing behind her she took each step carefully so as not to rip anything or fall in the process. In the span of a few moments walking from the dressing room to the stairs, her nervousness had risen a tenfold. Finally reaching the bottom Mary saw that Caleb was waiting for her. She gracefully handed her over to Caleb who smiled in wonder at how beautiful she looked. Teresa, who was normally composed and in control blushed slightly when she saw Caleb looking at her.

“Sorry Teresa. I just can’t help it. You just…you look very beautiful.”  
“Thank you, Caleb,” she said holding her arm out for him to take it. He obliged, but not before she turned back to him and said, “I appreciate you doing this.”

He acknowledged the meaning behind her words as being the only low point of the entire occasion. Both the bride and groom’s immediate family could not be present at the ceremony because they had not lived in time to witness it. Teresa’s family had died well after the events dealing with Gibbons, but Jarek’s father had only recently passed a few months ago. It had been a severe blow to his confidence as well as their planning, but as always he pushed on and now they were both here ready to embark on a journey of their own.

Teresa had not seen the main hall of the church and was dying to know if Jarek was in his place. The ceremony had already started a few minutes ahead of schedule and all they were waiting for was her. “Yes, he is,” Caleb reassured her. An usher motioned for them to come closer while Mary was finishing the touches on her extravagant train. She then took her place in front of Caleb and Teresa.

“Good luck,” she said, reaching behind to squeeze her hand. The music cue started, Caleb put his hand on top of hers, and together they started to walk.

9:30am

“Please rise,” the priest said, spreading his arms open. Almost in unison, the entire congregation turned to anticipate the arrival of the bride. (**1)

Teresa heard the first strands of the bridal chorus booming out from the pipe organ above as she slowly started to walk down the aisle. Her breath was immediately taken away when she saw a massive sea of blue tinted with gold turn towards her all looking stoic and regal in their uniforms. She had never seen such a gathering of her people all in one room, and hadn’t realized how many people had come, nor how big the cathedral was until her eyes glanced up and saw the altar with the huge stained glass windows sunlight streaming through them. Blue, white and gold ribbons adorned each pew meticulously placed to add to the theme. Caleb guided her slowly down the lengthened aisle, careful not to walk too fast or too slow. At certain times, he would look at her reassuringly and she would smile glowingly in return. She saw people she knew and worked with and occasionally some would take off their hats in respect to their leader. As she continued to walk down the white carpet before her, and while others continued to marvel at her, she could not help but feel lucky to be here on this day.

She kept walking, trying gracefully to reach her place at the altar. When she finally neared the middle of the aisle her eyes finally landed on Jarek. She had been too nervous at the beginning to make eye contact with him for fear she would faint, but now he was all she had to focus on to keep herself going. She smiled inwardly when she realized he looked and probably felt as nervous as she was. She lifted her chin as she came closer to him. She could feel the confidence rising in her and began to take notice of how handsome he looked. She was glad there was a formality in dress to their wedding, even though Jarek despised wearing his dress uniform.

Jarek was trembling slightly as he saw Teresa approaching. Kudos to Caleb for telling him that Teresa was stunning because she was. Her dress and hair, simple but elegant. He couldn’t help but notice how gracefully she was walking, straight and tall as if she could take on anything.

Finally, she passed the watchful eyes of close friends and as the last chords played she stopped so Caleb could transfer her hand to Jarek’s. He smiled warmly taking her hand and thanking Caleb. They both made sure Caleb was in his seat before Teresa was finally able to turn to him with hands joined.

9:45am

_“Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today to take part in the most time-honored celebration of the human family, uniting a man and a woman in marriage._

_Jarek and Teresa have come to witness before us, telling of their love for each other. We remind them that they are performing an act of complete faith each in the other; that the heart of their marriage will be the relationship they create. In a world where faith often falls short of expectation, it is a tribute to these two who now join hands and hearts in perfect faith.”_

Jarek never kept his eyes on anyone else except the woman who was standing before him. As the priest continued on officiating, he could not help but feel himself slipping into another world. Everyone else was fading away only to be replaced with Teresa before him.

…. _”Is there anyone who does not wish to see these two joined together? Speak now or forever hold your peace.”_

They both felt a little nervousness creeping in the back of their minds at the question. But, it was quickly silenced when no one decided to voice their opposition.

The priest then gestured for the presentation of the rings and the saying of their marriage vows. He then turned to Jarek to begin the recitation.

_“Jarek, will you have Teresa to be your wedded wife, to live together in the holy estate of matrimony? Will you love her, comfort her, honor her and keep her, in sickness and in health; and forsaking all others remain loyal to her as long as you both shall live?”_

Jarek squeezed Teresa’s hands lightly before he said, “I do.”

_“Teresa , will you have Jarek to be your wedded husband, to live together in the holy estate of matrimony? Will you love him, comfort him, honor him and keep him, in sickness and in health; and forsaking all others remain loyal to him as long as you both shall live?”_

Teresa smiled at Jarek before saying, “I do.” She could hear murmurs of approval in the audience. Jarek then reached into his jacket pocket and pulled out Teresa’s wedding band, which he had almost no trouble getting onto her finger. Teresa then turned to a young boy next to her and graciously accepted the ring which she slipped onto Jarek’s finger.

 _“By the power invested in me and all who are present here today, I now pronounce Jarek and Teresa husband and wife.”_ And turning to Jarek with a warm smile on his face he said, _“You may kiss the bride.”_

Jarek had been anxiously waiting for this moment and when he looked back at Teresa, the anticipation seemed to be killing her as well. Leaning down, he wrapped his arms around her and enveloped her in a passionate kiss.

When he pulled away, the crowd came back to her and she noticed most of them were cheering and throwing hats up into the air. Thunderous applause radiated throughout the church as the priest presented them as a newlywed couple. They then turned to face everyone and the cheers became louder.

10:00am (**2)

As they joyfully stepped off the altar the first strands of the recessional hymn began to play. Arm in arm they began to walk gracefully back down the aisle while the thunderous applause continued around them. Jarek scanned the crowd and saw that some were rushing out of their seats to prepare for when they exited. He looked for Caleb but saw that he had already left. He looked back at Teresa and saw she could not keep the smile off her face as officers nodded to her and whispered “Congratulations.” (**3)

The second recessional hymn began to play as they neared the doors to the cathedral. They both prepared for what was about to come. Bursting into the sunlight, they were suddenly showered with rice. Holding up their arms to keep it from their eyes they hurried as fast as they could down the stairs to their waiting car. The wedding bells were chiming and as they reached the bottom Jarek saw that Caleb was waiting for them.

Jarek stopped in front of him letting Teresa stand off to the side. Caleb stuck his hand out and Jarek graciously took it. “Congratulations.” Caleb wanted to pull his hand away but Jarek held it firm. “No, thank you for everything you’ve done to make this the best day of my life.” He then pulled him into a hug while Teresa beamed nearby. Caleb then turned to Teresa, hugged her and kissed her on the cheek before opening the car door for them.

They both were laughing and smiling as they climbed over each other into the car. “Where to next?,” Jarek asked after they’d settled. “Well, we’re going back to the house so I can freshen up and change a bit. The reception isn’t until later so we have lots of time to kill.” She hadn’t been looking at Jarek when she said this, but turning to him Jarek had a rather peculiar look on his face.

Teresa raised her eyebrows. “What?”  
“I was just thinking about what you said earlier and maybe since we have all this time before the reception that we might have time for a little _something else._ ” He slipped his arm around her shoulders. She got the hint immediately and slapped him on the arm. “Jarek!”  
“What? It’s a perfectly legitimate question!” She turned away from him while laughing.  
“Oh and if I may, I have a suggestion.” Teresa turned back to him, still trying to control her laughter. “Yes?”  
“Can we please leave the uniform out of this?” He put on a pouty face which made Teresa melt. She didn’t answer him and instead kissed him gently.  
When she pulled away, she saw Jarek’s expression had softened.

“We just got married,” she said.  
“We just got married,” he returned.

And as they leaned in again, the car and police escort guided them away from the well-wishers and into the bright April sunshine.

\--------------------------------------------

“Oh god, I’m so tired,” Jarek said as he met Teresa in the hallway before the reception. He tried to rub the fatigue out of his eyes while yawning at the same time. Teresa just stared at him.  
“What?”  
“You’re supposed to cover your mouth. It’s not gentleman-like.”  
He rolled his eyes.  
“Who said I was a gentleman?”  
She laughed. “Well, you’ve been one all day up until now. Maybe I can give you a break.”  
“Good, so long as I don’t have to wear my uniform.”  
Teresa slapped his arm rather hard.  
“Ow!”  
“Will you stop with that?,” she said laughing.

Caleb appeared nearby. “All right you guys stop fighting. Are you ready?”  
They both stood up straight and Jarek cracked his neck to relieve some of the tension.  
“C’mon Jarek, this is the fun part.”

“Ladies and gentleman, Mr and Mrs. Wysocki!” Arm and arm again they walked into the spacious ballroom inside The Drake hotel. The room erupted once again into applause and cheers could be heard all around. All the stops had been pulled; the room vibrant and exquisitely decorated, carrying over the theme from the ceremony that morning. Most of the officers who had been present at the ceremony earlier were present here as well.

Teresa looked elegant once again, the only change was that she wore her hair down, her curly locks matching with the energy in the room. Jarek had changed into a tuxedo which he was grateful for. He hated having his own name being displayed when everyone already knew who he was.

Suddenly, a song Teresa recognized and loved blared over the sound system. She began to dance her way into room, finally able to forget the formalities. (**4)

_It’s you and me  
Moving at the speed of light  
Into eternity, yeah  
Tonight, is the night  
To join me in the middle of ecstasy_

Jarek watched her, slightly embarrassed at the unexpected. She pulled away from him and when she noticed he wasn’t there, motioned for him to join her.

_Feel the melody and the rhythm of the music  
Around you, around you_

_I’mma take you there  
I’mma take you there  
So don’t be scared  
I’m right here baby  
We can go anywhere  
Anywhere  
But first, it’s your chance  
Take my hand  
Come with me_

Reluctantly, Jarek joined her. She took his hand and together they sashayed onto the main dance floor. Under the lights, and with the crowd backing them they began to dance the night away.

_It’s like I waited my whole life  
For this one night  
It’s gonna be me and you on the dance floor  
‘Cause we only got one night  
Double your pleasure  
Double your fun  
And dance  
Forever_

Teresa twirled and dipped and sashayed. They both did not know how to dance very well, but they made the best of what they could. She was just glad that both her and Jarek could finally break loose and hopefully show the crowd a side of them they’d never seen before.

_Feels like we’re on another level  
Feels like our love’s intertwined  
We can be two rebels  
Breaking the rules  
Me and you  
You and I_

_Forever on the dance floor_

Her favorite part was coming up where everything slowed and as Jarek dipped her down once more she came back up and they were as close as they’d ever been that night.

_It’s a long way down  
It’s so high off the ground  
Send in for an angel to bring me your heart  
Girl, where did you come from?  
Got me so undone  
Gaze in your eyes  
Got me saying what a beautiful lady  
No if's, and's, and maybes  
I’m releasing my heart and it’s feeling amazing  
There’s no one else that matters you love me  
And I won’t let you fall girl  
Let you fall girl  
Oh Oh Oh_

And as all the others danced around them, the moment stilled. Teresa held Jarek’s hand against his chest where she could feel his heart beating wildly. He held her gaze intensely.  
“I love you Jarek.”  
“I love you Teresa.”  
Still holding her hand, he kissed her then letting the music play.

_I won’t let you fall  
Let you fall…  
Let you fall…._

Afterwards, they seated themselves at the long table facing the room with the rest of the bridal party. More than once the clinking of silverware against glasses was heard in which they kissed obligingly. The food was scrumptious and everyone enjoyed a full course meal that was both filling and enjoyable.

“So, does that count as a first dance?”  
Jarek choked on his drink at Caleb’s remark.  
“I don’t know. What do you think?”  
“I would say it was,” he said laughing.

When he set his eyes on Teresa again he was reminded of something he was going to do. She was standing a few yards away. Leaving Caleb he walked over and picked up a microphone, tapping it to get everyone’s attention. Everyone turned to him.

“Um, I’d like to dedicate this next song to my wife." He paused, feeling nervous with everyone staring at him. "I was hoping we could dance to it together.” He held the microphone in his hands waiting for Teresa to appear.

She turned around at the mention of her name and walked through the crowd until she came to the middle of the dance floor where she saw him bathed in light. She walked to him and together they stepped to the dance floor as the music started. (**5)

_You’re in my arms  
And all the world is calm  
The music playing on for only two  
So close together  
And when I’m with you  
So close to feeling alive_

_A life goes by  
Romantic dreams must die  
So I bid mine goodbye and never knew  
So close was waiting, waiting here with you  
And now forever I know  
All that I wanted to hold you  
So close_

He held her close and she rested her head on his shoulder. Sometimes she thought she couldn’t believe this was happening.

_So close to reaching that famous happy ending  
Almost believing this was not pretend  
And now you're beside me and look how far we've come  
So far we are so close_

_How could I face the faceless days  
If I should lose you now?_

_We're so close to reaching that famous happy ending  
Almost believing this was not pretend  
Let’s go on dreaming  
For we know we are  
So close  
So close  
And still so far_

As the song ended she looked back up at Jarek and said, “Thank you,” amidst the applause from the crowd. She wiped tears from her eyes and he hugged her before she broke the embrace.  
The atmosphere was still vibrant as the night went on and into the wee hours of the morning. It wasn’t until then that the newlyweds as well as the rest of the party decided to call it a night.


	3. When Darkness Comes

The next morning Teresa woke up to sunlight streaming through their apartment window. She winced at the light, trying to reach over to see the bedside clock. When her eyes finally cleared she saw it was almost 11am. Rolling onto her back with a heavy sigh she regarded yesterday’s events. First, the ceremony, then frolicking at the house, and then to the reception where she had the time of her life. As she thought about it more, it set her heart alight. She felt as though the decisions she’d made in this past year had made her life more fun than it had ever been.

She looked over at Jarek who was sleeping soundly and was glad they were on vacation. She was too exhausted to deal with the citizens of Chicago, something she never would have said a few years ago. She reached over to stroke Jarek’s cheek, which caused him to awaken.

“Good morning,” he said sleepily.  
“Good morning. “  
“What time is it?”  
“Just after 11.”  
“11, huh? Never thought I’d sleep in that late.”  
“Well, you deserve it now that we’re on vacation.”  
Jarek smiled. “Yes, vacation.”  
Teresa rolled over to reach for her robe, but Jarek pulled her back.  
“And where do you think you’re going?”  
“I was going to make you some breakfast,” she said swiping at his nose.  
“Breakfast at 11am?”  
“Why not? Who says when we can eat breakfast or not?”  
Jarek considered the idea but really wanted to stay in bed with her. After she gave him some pouty looks, he finally agreed.  
Teresa stood up and put on her robe with Jarek behind her. When she was done, he pulled her in for a kiss. “You just never know when to stop do you?,” she said breathlessly.  
“Why stop?”  
“Because you need to get some clothes on.”  
She turned and walked out of the room, wearing nothing but the robe. He watched her walk away, drunk with love; before he resigned to the fact he needed to put some clothes on.

The next few hours were spent rushing around their apartment packing for their honeymoon. Teresa also resigned to the fact that the place needed to be cleaned before they left. Jarek begrudgingly helped.

By 6pm, the sun had gone down and both were sitting on their tiny balcony overlooking the city.  
“I could get used to this,” Jarek said taking a sip from his coffee mug. He was resting his feet on the railing, stretching out his toes.  
“Don’t get used to it too much because we’ll be seeing a whole different view in a couple of days,” Teresa said, turning towards him.  
“Yep, I guess that’s true.” He took his feet off the railing, straightening himself in his chair. He looked out over the city; the city that he’d called home for all of his life.  
“I may miss it though.”  
“Why?”  
“Well, I’ve never been away from it for so long. I’ve always lived here. I know this city inside and out.”  
“We won’t be gone that long Jarek. And besides, you won’t miss it that much when you’re in Paris.”  
“I guess.”  
Teresa rose from her chair and stretched out her hand. Jarek looked up at her.  
“Ready for an early night?”  
“Absolutely,” he said taking her hand. They both walked back into their apartment arms linked behind each other’s backs. “Not looking forward to the jet lag though.”

The next morning they were on their flight to Paris, after having woken up late by accident and nearly missing their plane. She wasn’t worried at all about leaving her job because she knew she had the right people in place to handle the police department.

Sitting on the plane with Jarek sleeping beside her, she let her mind drift away from the gritty, worn streets of Chicago to the vibrant and upbeat streets of Paris.

Their first night was spent sightseeing such famous spots as the Eiffel Tower, the Louvre, and the Palace of Versailles. Teresa particularly enjoyed the Hall of Mirrors, and both could be seen having fun sliding around the slick floors. Afterwards, they would dine at little cafes along the street, its winding cobblestone walkways giving the feeling of being in another world.

Time passed quickly for them both, and on their last night Jarek took Teresa somewhere special.

“What is this place?”  
They were both standing on a wooden bridge where on either side was chain link fence with padlocks attached to them.  
“You see the locks there?,” Jarek pointed.  
“Yeah, what are they for?”  
“Well, when people come here…..actually, when lovers come here, they take a lock and write their names on them. Then they throw away the key in the river.”  
He handed her the lock. “It’s so that the lock will stay there forever. Will you do the honors?”  
Teresa smiled as she took the lock and a marker he’d produced and wrote both of their names as well as the date across the lock.  
She then handed them back to Jarek where they both walked over and knelt to clasp the lock onto the fence. When it was done, they stood up and Jarek took his hand out of his pocket to show he had the key.  
Turning to her he said, “You ready?”  
She nodded and watched as he threw his arm back, launching the key far into the water.  
As they watched the sun set over Paris, Teresa took a hold of his arm and Jarek bent down to kiss her. Looking back up, he suddenly felt the need to speak his mind.  
“You know, I lied when I said I’d never been away from Chicago. I have. I’ve been here.”  
Teresa’s eyes widened just a bit.  
“Here? Paris?,” she said turning to look up at him. “Since when?”  
“When I was younger, before I knew I was going to be police.”  
“Were you with someone?”  
“No.”  
“Then why’d you go?”  
“I dunno. Be adventurous, find my place, I guess.” He sighed.  
“I was very lonely back then.” He said this with a smirk.  
“Oh, and what are you now?”  
“I’m as perfectly happy as I’ll ever be.”  
Seeming content with his response, she rested her head on his shoulder as they watched the last rays of the sun set behind the horizon.

Soon it was back to business for them both and only just arriving a few days later, Teresa was already feeling worn and beat. She rested her hands on her head and stared down at another police report she had to read and go over. Sometimes she wished she could go over these things with Jarek; it certainly would make them more interesting. She smiled at the thought, but knew he was where he should be, patrolling the streets doing what he does best. She set the report to the side and picked up another. As her eyes settled on it, she could immediately tell this one was different from the rest.

Words were underlined in red marker, sentences, phrases and even places were taken careful notice of. The officer who’d written it had been taking notes and Teresa was grateful for it. As she kept reading on, she suddenly became anxious and alarmed as the report became more detailed. She began to see names of places she hadn’t seen before: Michigan Ave. Bridge, Holy Name Cathedral……reports of sightings in and around the city, conversations they’d had.

As she read more, the dark secret was finally unveiled to her.

It came crashing down on her like a river of fear, and she looked at the paper in absolute fright. This is us. Someone is following us. Someone wants to kill Jarek.

Wasting no time, she picked up the phone, her voice shaking, “Get me Det. Evers immediately.”

\-----------------------------------

Caleb had been in the middle of a case on the West Side when Teresa called. Jarek drove him back downtown to headquarters and then they both went up to the principal’s office.

“Superintendent, you wanted to see me? You said it was urgent?” Teresa looked up at him as he said those words, but then looked beyond him when she saw Jarek step into the room. She tried as hard as she could to not show any emotion as the words on the paper filled her mind.

“Sorry, Jarek but this is a meeting only Caleb and I must have,” she said, showing a fake smile while walking around her desk. “I’ll make sure to have him back as soon as possible so you can go back to your case.” Jarek gave her a look as if to say, “Okaaay,” and then turned to walk out of the room.

Teresa waited until he was completely gone and the door had shut before she started talking. “Caleb, I want you to understand that this conversation is completely off the record and confidential. You are not to tell anyone what you hear in this room. Not even to Jarek.”

“Yes, ma’am,” he said nodding. Teresa gave him a look.  
“Detective, do not call me “ma’am.” You know me; you can use my first name.” Caleb looked down in embarrassment.  
She slid the red streaked report over to Caleb and saw the same reaction cross his face the first time she read it. A look of shock.  
“What is this?”  
“It’s a police report.”  
“I know that, but who….”  
“Keep reading.”  
She watched Caleb closely looking for the signs of realization. When they finally came, she saw his face blanch, his eyes widening.  
“I…I don’t understand. Why would someone want to do this? Jarek’s a great man, they can’t..”  
Teresa put her hands in front of her, telling him to keep his voice down. Caleb immediately shut up, calming the rage inside of him, and then after a few moments said:  
“This is serious. What are we going to do?”  
“Right now, I don’t know.”  
“You don’t think it’s a fake do you?”  
“No, absolutely not. The officer who wrote this is highly respected. The only thing that concerns me is why it wasn’t given to me immediately? Why was it lying in a pile underneath all of these other reports?”  
“Maybe he didn’t want to cause a stir?”  
She nodded in agreement. “We, well I mean Jarek and I are going to have to lie low for a while until things get sorted out, but until then, no one is to hear of this, understand? No one.” Caleb nodded furtively, putting his head down and walking out of her office. He joined his partner, who had been waiting patiently, and who now seemed to have a target slapped on his back.

\-------------------  
“Beat 5533, en route to suspect home on 211.” Caleb put his radio back in its holster and sat back in the seat of the Crown Vic he shared with Jarek. It had only been a few hours since Teresa had told him about the incriminating report, and it was forcing him to revel on the past. The years had flown by, he realized and his years as a rookie detective were a thing of the past. His relationship with Jarek had grown in more ways than he’d expected. Jarek had been a great mentor to him and in many ways he still was. He’d learned so much and was so grateful for the opportunity to know him and finally be in his good graces. He smiled at the thought. Yes, even Jarek could live with having a Cubs fan as a partner. He no longer felt uncomfortable or out of place when he was with him. He trusted Jarek with his life and would do anything for him.

“Something on your mind, kid?”  
A corner of Caleb’s mouth turned upward at the affectionate comment. Jarek had not called him “kid” in a while and it pleased him.  
“Nothing much. Just thinkin’ about stuff,” he said, turning to him.  
“Yeah, right.”  
“What?,” Caleb said in exasperation.  
“I know who you were thinking about.”  
“And who might that be.”  
Jarek turned back to him as they pulled in front of the home, and said matter-of-factly, “Mary.”  
“Mary?!,” he exclaimed. Jarek laughed at his expression as they both got out of the car.  
“Why would I be thinking about her?” Caleb joined him on the sidewalk.  
“Because you like her. And I know you do because I saw the way you were looking at her at my wedding.”  
Caleb could not reply, so instead he fell in line behind Jarek as they neared the entrance to the home. He would have to get him for that later.

Jarek let Caleb lead him inside the home guns drawn, proceeding cautiously down the hallway which lead to the kitchen. They both let each other know when each room was checked and clear of suspects. Caleb was first to enter the kitchen while Jarek took a side door which lead down to the basement.

The kitchen was a mess, food, silverware, old pizza boxes strewn over the counters and the floor. He frequently had to watch his step as the floor was slippery and hadn’t been cleaned in months. His eyes still level with the gun in his hand, he approached the threshold between the kitchen and the living room. He saw a television and some recliners before he realized he should meet back up with Jarek. He started to turn around when out of a nowhere a figure appeared from a corner in the kitchen and threw him to the ground, taking his gun in the process.

He lay face up, his arms in a defensive gesture before he saw a man wearing a black mask pointing his own gun at him. The man hesitated only seconds before pulling the trigger.

Jarek heard the scuffle and with instincts kicking in, immediately made his way through the muck in the basement and towards the stairs. He bolted up them and into the kitchen where he saw his partner writhing on the floor in pain.

“Oh god, Caleb. Caleb! Caleb, can you hear me?,” Jarek said frantically as he took him into his arms. Finally, Caleb opened his eyes and saw Jarek was with him. He managed to smile through his grimace.  
“Jarek, he…he took my gun. He came from behind…..” He stopped and turned to his side as another wave overtook him, gasping for air.  
“Hey, hey don’t take so much you’re only going to make it worse.” He saw blood coming from Caleb’s mouth and then Jarek’s hands started to shake.  
Oh god, I’m losing him. I’m losing him.  
Jarek took one of Caleb’s hands to stop his from shaking.  
“Jarek, I’m scared.” Jarek held him tighter.  
“You listen to me. You’re not going to die. You’re going to be all right,” Jarek said, his voice shaking. “Please stay with me.”  
The pain inside Caleb’s chest was becoming too much. He needed to close his eyes, but wanted to keep them open because knowing Jarek was there meant he was alive. He tried as much as he could to keep them open, but he felt everything slowing down.  
Jarek saw him drifting and fear coursed through him.

The last thing he heard was Jarek calling 10-1 on the radio.


	4. Hopeless

Sitting in the pristine, lifeless and cold hallway of the hospital, Jarek held his head in his hands. He’d stopped crying hours ago, after his body completely shut down of emotion. He couldn’t feel, eat or hear anything he didn’t want to. He didn’t know how long he’d been awake, and he didn’t care. Adrenaline was taking care of it. The only thing he could feel was a numbing sense of pain. It was barely there, but he could feel it, just as he did hours before when it was raging inside of him.

It seemed to take forever for the EMT’s to arrive, and when they did, Jarek did not hesitate in letting them do their job. The only thing he could give Caleb was warmth, and had wrapped a blanket he’d found nearby around him. He wasn’t trained in their discipline, but beside that he couldn’t help but watch.

Paralyzed by fear, he watched as they prodded him with needles, covered his mouth with a mask, wrapped bandages around him, and tried to stop the blood, so much blood that was seeping out of him. When his eyes finally traveled back towards Caleb’s face, it was still stretched in pain. The tears came then, because he knew in that moment that Caleb was going to die and there was nothing he could do about it.

He followed the paramedics as they hurriedly wheeled him out to the waiting ambulance, but they would not let him inside. There wasn’t enough room, they said, and slamming the doors in his face, they drove away, sirens wailing. As Jarek watched the bus rolling away down the block, he turned to his now empty cruiser feeling his entire sense of being falling apart.

Jarek winced at the thought. The agony of having to drive to the hospital alone, without his partner, ate him alive inside. As he muddled through the past few hours, he suddenly remembered the doctors had come to see him, and had told him that Caleb was lucky to be alive, but that he also was not out of the woods. His injuries were severe and would require weeks if not months of recovery and close observation. He also remembered the doctor had told him about the blanket. If he hadn’t put that blanket around him, Caleb would have been dead long before he arrived at the hospital.

For some reason, he lifted his face to look at the door. Considering he’d lost track of time, he also forgot that he’d been sitting outside Caleb’s room for hours. People had come and gone, checking in from time to time, getting any sort of update they could. But, as Jarek looked through the room now, he could see one person that had been there just as long as he had.

 _Mary._

A new wave of emotions threatened to overcome him as he remembered what he’d said to Caleb only hours before.

 _"Because you like her. And I know you do because I saw the way you were looking at her at my wedding."_

They had been joking in the car, talking about the past and what might have been the future. His vision became blurry as he felt his emotions return, and hanging his head once again, he let them take over.

 

Teresa walked hurriedly down the hallway, the news coming late to her ears after having been bogged down in unimportant things. Her appearance was nothing what people would expect of a superintendent, but she didn’t care if her hair was coming undone or if her long, black trench coat was dirty and askance. She was looking for the only two people that mattered now.  
After stopping at the end of a hallway, she found one of them. A sudden sense of anguish overwhelmed her as she looked at Jarek sitting outside Caleb’s room. She took a few moments before she walked over to comfort him.

Jarek felt a hand on his shoulder and saw Teresa looking down at him. He looked like complete and utter shit, as if he’d hit his lowest and wasn’t coming back. Jarek, at first could not comprehend who he was seeing. His emotions were so skewed he couldn’t remember if Teresa was his boss, his wife, or both.

He stood, surprising her slightly, and as she put her hands on either side of his face, she truly saw the pain he was in.

“Jarek, it’s going to be okay,” she said, her voice slightly cracking. He nodded silently, refusing to look in her eyes. She leaned down a bit to see if she could catch them, but Jarek turned away, and she saw his lip quiver.

“I’m not going to be okay, Teresa,” he said, his voice heavy with emotion. “He’s my best friend, and I couldn’t do anything to help him.” Teresa’s heart sunk lower, but she listened.

“I’m supposed to be his partner, the one person that he looks up to, that he trusts to protect him, and I couldn’t do that for him.”

Teresa held Jarek’s hands in hers, not saying a word. “I didn’t think I was going to like this kid as much as I did when he was assigned to me, but now…..”

Teresa pulled him into a hug, letting him cry on her shoulder, her own tears beginning to form in her eyes. As she looked around the room, it suddenly became all too recognizable for her. They were standing in the same room where Antonio was brought to die, and it was on that same night Jarek told her he would help her on their mission to destroy Gibbons.

He pulled back and she tilted her head so she could kiss him. After a few moments, she pulled away and said, her voice barely above a whisper, “I want to see him. Do you want to come with me?” She saw him close his eyes and swallow before he nodded.

They took each other’s hands before they walked in, and as soon as Teresa caught sight of Caleb, Jarek saw the shock cross her face. He looked almost unrecognizable underneath the bandages and tubes running from different parts of his body. The only thing she could plainly see was his face, porcelain white underneath the florescent lights. She closed her eyes, feeling as if they had been assaulted by the gruesome image before her. She was reminded of Chris Collier, and how close he was to dying, much in the same way Caleb was. She vowed in that moment to find whoever did this to one of her own. She still felt Jarek standing next to her, and feeling uncomfortable she turned to him.

“I have to get going.”  
Jarek nodded silently.  
“I’ll see you tonight,” she said kissing him softly.

He watched her walk away, her embrace leaving him, wanting to feel it again. She’d given him a strong sense of support that he hadn’t been given since the accident happened. He didn’t want to feel alone as he felt now. He wanted to face every moment of this with her, but he knew she had a job to do. He just wished she could stay longer.

He turned around to face his feelings again, when he felt a shock to his system.

Caleb had opened his eyes.

Losing all sense of control, Jarek rushed to him, keeling beside the bed, taking his hand. He didn’t call for anyone. “Hey buddy. Hey, how are you?” Caleb could not talk, but Jarek could see him smile through his pain.  
“That’s good. That’s really good, Caleb. You’re going to be fine. Just wait, you’re going to get out of here as soon as you get better.”  
Caleb nodded slightly before exhaustion overtook him, and he fell back asleep.  
Jarek sighed and softly said so no one could hear: “I’m so sorry, Caleb.” He then rose, walked to the door and taking one last look closed it behind him.

\------------------------------------------

“Did you get the kid?”  
“Yeah, I got him.”  
“Well, is he dead?”  
His partner blanched as he was reloading his gun.  
“Not exactly.”  
“What do you mean, not exactly? You were supposed to kill him!”  
“Yeah, well I tried and the kid pulled through! We’ll get him next time.” He wanted to hit him so badly, but instead said:  
“It’s too late for that. We have our other target to worry about.”  
“Why are we waiting so long for this anyway?”  
“Like I said, it needs to hurt like hell. We give them all the time in the world, and then poof, it’s gone.”

\------------------------------------------

Jarek walked into the apartment a little after 10pm. The aroma of something he couldn’t quite discern hit him as soon as he stepped in the door. Closing it and placing his keys on a nearby table, he looked over towards the kitchen. She must have not noticed him come in, because she never glanced once in his direction. She just stood over the stove, calmly stirring as if nothing else mattered. Such a contrast to what he had been feeling weeks earlier. He pushed this out of his mind as he watched her cook.

He looked down the long hallway, the stove directly in his line of vision, watching her stir what he now could make out was vegetables. A side of his mouth upturned when he realized she was making one of his favorite dishes. She hadn’t done something like that in a while, and it pleased him. As thoughts turned inside his head, he came upon a realization, another difference. A cream colored top with embroidery leading to a belted waist which lead further down to a skirt. Teresa never wore skirts. Something’s up, he thought. And he realized that he liked it. He decided then that he would surprise her and walked around to the other entrance to the kitchen. She never moved or blinked an eye. Standing in front of the counter, his hands gripping the front, he crossed one leg over the other.  
Teresa, however, was in her own little world after having a rare, but exceptionally good day at the office. Most, if not everything had gone well, and while she had been a little stressed, knowing that she would come home and cook Jarek a surprise dinner was something she’d looked forward to all day. Cooking calmed her, and made her focus on the little things, such as the aroma of the food, the sound of sizzling as it fried in the pan, but most of all the satisfaction of knowing her husband would appreciate it when he came home. When was he coming home?, she thought. Shrugging internally, she pushed the thought aside when out of the corner of her eye, she saw Jarek enter the kitchen.

She waited until he thought she wasn’t paying attention to say, “How was work today?” Turning around, she was met with a bewildered expression on Jarek’s face. She smiled. “Don’t think I didn’t notice you come in. I saw you sneak in here.” The bewildered look turned into a smile which made her melt. He shifted and his police badge caught the light while they held each other’s gaze from across the room.

The truth was Teresa had done all of this for him, from her clothing to the way she was acting. She knew it was out of character for Jarek, and for herself but lately she’d been feeling hormonal. There were needs that weren’t being met, needs that were being buried for the sake of professionalism. As she continued to gaze, she thought about the last time they’d been together that way. It had been recent, but seemed so far away now with everything that had been happening. Her heart had broken seeing him the way he was outside that hospital room; knowing she couldn’t comfort him the way she wanted to; knowing that he wanted her to stay. but knowing her, she couldn’t handle her emotions at that time. She’d almost lost control. Lost control like she had many a night ago when they were both young and reckless people…….

 _“Can I come in?”  
“I don’t know. Can you?” she said, smirking down at him from her front porch. This was one of the many nights he’d been dropping her off, and one of the many more where he’d asked the very same question. She would always tease him, which usually ended in him feeling defeated and trudging back to his car. This time it would be different._

 _He had one hand on the railing and was looking up at her. He admired her, the way she had her hair tied into a neat bun, her police officer uniform tucked neatly away, and the way she was smiling at him now, as if begging to let him in. The pressures of work had faded from her face, and all she knew and wanted was him. He could see it in her eyes, the way they would shimmer when she wanted something bad but was afraid to say it._

 _She turned away from him, taking out her keys and unlocking the door, the hint all too clear for him. She pushed the door open, saw him coming up the stairs, and like a gentleman letting her into her own home before him. She set her belongings down on a nearby table while he went around the couch to face her._

 _“What’d you think about the party?”  
“It was all right I guess.”  
“I guess?”  
“Yeah, I’m just not really into those things, Jarek. But, I had fun with you.” She was trying to tidy up, and wasn’t paying attention to her words when that slipped. She stopped moving as she could feel his gaze burning into her. She was glad she had been looking down when she’d said it, for fear he could see her blushing._

 _Her fear intensified when she looked up and saw that he had. Standing across the room, his gaze bore into her and confirmed the feelings she was only beginning to realize. She had feelings for him, and knew she was betraying herself for it. But, it wasn’t only her mind that was betraying her, it was her body, and as the tension in the room continued to intensify, so did the warmth inside of her. It started to consume her as walked around the couch towards her, and when he was in front of her, she knew she couldn’t deny it anymore. She couldn’t let the constraints of her career, where her life was heading, hold back her feelings for him. So she took the risk and let him in, dropping all the guard she had._

 _I let it fall, my heart  
And as it fell  
You rose to claim it  
It was dark and I was over  
Until you kissed my lips  
And you saved me_

 _My hands they’re strong  
But, my knees were far too weak  
To stand in your arms  
Without falling to your feet_

 _He kissed her roughly, but passionately, and she found his hands to be roaming everywhere, tugging at her uniform, and then finally lifting it over her head. Her hands were in his hair, tugging and pulling, trying to make sense of what she was feeling. He let his hand slide to her shoulder where he slipped off a strap of her bra, and then the other. She then found herself against a wall, waves of arousal shooting downward, unable to control what she was feeling. She moaned when he bent down to kiss her neck, wrapping her arms around him tightly, feeling all of him._

 _When laying with you  
I could stay, there  
Close my eyes for you  
Here, forever  
You and me together  
Nothing is better_

 _They moved to the couch, where they removed the rest of their clothing, and it was there he took all of her. She held onto him as he kissed her, moving from her lips and shoulders, to her chest, and then downward. She gasped in ecstasy at the feelings that were tumbling over her in waves. She didn’t know how many times she cried out his name, but he stayed there for a long while, drinking her in. Stopping, he came back up and capturing his lips again, opening her up to him. She felt his hands running up her thighs before lying atop her._

 _It all became a blur as she kissed him harder, her tongue gaining entrance as he slowly thrust into her. She moaned into his mouth as she felt her entire body opening up to him. As he sent another thrust into her, hurtling towards oblivion, she broke away to get air, and suddenly felt the end drawing near. She gripped him tightly with her thighs as he started to move faster. He wrapped his arms around her tightly, groaning into her ear as he came, just as she did, both riding the waves of their orgasms together.  
Lying there exhausted, she stared at the ceiling waiting for her heartbeat to slow, their pulses still beating in time. She was glad Jarek couldn’t see how broken she was, how every fiber of her being felt crushed in this moment. She’d professed love to man whom she’d known most of her life, and yet, she was in love with someone else. Or at least she thought she was. When she finally admitted this to herself, her vision became blurry and she knew then she was crying._

 _Jarek had been her first and no one after that had made her feel the way she did that night. No one had made her feel that kind of passion, had done things to her she never would have thought of. And no one had broken her heart more than he had._

 _“I don’t want to see you anymore.”  
“Why?”  
He steeled his gaze and set his jaw.  
“Because….” he stammered.  
She waited for an answer, but then realized everything. He watched as it slowly crossed her face.  
“You’re in love with someone else.” He gasped a little when he saw hatred in her eyes. Stone, cold, hatred.  
“Teresa, I’m sor….”  
“Don’t,” she said turning away from him, her eyes beginning to sting. She gripped the top of a chair before finding composure and then unleashing her fury.  
“Don’t even apologize for the way you feel about me. I am not going to be made into the victim here. You told me a few months ago that you loved me and only me, and now I’m finding out that all of this was a lie?”  
He said nothing.  
She continued, knowing everything she was saying was a lie. “Why?”  
Jarek didn’t know if he should continue. His heart was breaking as much as hers was. “Teresa, it was before you and I were ever together. She came into my life, and I felt as if I’d….I don’t know….like I knew her.”_

 _‘Cause there’s a side to you that I never knew, never knew  
All the things you’d say they were never true, never true_

 _The burning in her eyes and heart grew stronger and this time she let him see her tears. “Teresa…don’t cry.” He reached up to touch her face, but she slapped his hand away. He tried to hide the pain from the sting.  
“I hate you. I hate you because that’s exactly what you said to me a few months ago. You said you knew me, but I guess I couldn’t fill whatever ridiculous mold you put me in.”  
He wanted to interrupt but she kept going, her anger overwhelming any rational thoughts she had.  
“You made love to me knowing full well what you were doing. That’s what hurts the most, Jarek. I’ve never felt love the way I felt when we were together.”  
She saw the pity in his eyes, but it all was wiped away with her next statement.  
“And you know what, this is all fine and good because I’ve found someone else too”, she said, gesturing wildly with her hands. The tears had been coming like rivers down her face, the streaks searing themselves into his memory._

 _But I set fire to the rain  
Watched it pour as I touched your face_

 _“Yes, Jarek,” she said, stepping closer to him, a look of pure satisfaction on her face. “I’ve found someone too. Someone better than you.” She rode the high of beating him once again at the game he was playing, as her words bit at him._

 _And the games you’d play, you would always win, always win_

 _He was stunned and because of this he felt he had nothing more to say, so he walked past her. He wasn’t sure if she had been telling the truth or not, but he did know he would hear no more of it.  
“Everything is like a game to you, Jarek!,” she screamed after him. Everything!”  
She saw him walking down the long hallway, her entire world shattered, losing the one moment she could forgive him for the lie she just told. She felt her breath catch, fresh tears beginning to surface, her heart beating wildly in her chest.  
He continued walking, never looking back, and she knew he was lost to her forever.  
“JAREK!”_

 _Well, it burned while I cried as I heard it screaming out your name, your name  
I set fire to the rain  
And I threw us into the flames  
When it fell something died  
‘Cause I knew that that was the last time, the last time_

 _She remembered that day very clearly, remembered how her body felt heavy and sunken as she tried to carry on with each day after that. Remembered how she spent almost an entire day in the bathroom, praying as she waited with bated breath for something other than two little pink lines to appear. She remembered Mary opening the door, gasping at what she was doing and then asking the question._

 _Teresa looked up at her, fear ever present in her eyes. She saw Mary cover her mouth. “Oh god, Teresa, I’m so sorry.” But, looking at Teresa again, she saw she was shaking her head. Mary saw her face contort in anguish and kneeled to the floor, taking in her arms._

 _“We’ll figure this out, okay? Don’t worry about a thing,” she said rubbing Teresa’s back. As her sobbing ebbed, she raised her head, and Mary asked, “Are you going to tell him?”  
“Yes. Somehow.”  
“Are you sure you want to do that? It’s a pretty big commitment.”  
Though her eyes were swollen red, Mary saw a look of confusion on her best friend’s face.  
“What are you talking about? It’s negative. I’m not pregnant, thank god.”  
Mary took the test from Teresa’s hands and looked at it. She definitely wasn’t._

 _She’d been too angry back then to care that she had lied to Jarek about seeing someone. She felt as though he’d hurt her enough, and that justified her backstabbing. She however didn’t expect the confidence and willpower it instilled in her to aspire to become the best cop in the city. Not just any top cop, but the Superintendent. Over time, she slowly forgave Jarek for his misgivings, as he did for hers, and as they went their separate ways, she saw him grow into a person she could trust again. In the eight years it took her to become Superintendent, and the decade it took Jarek to become a detective, she never thought she would be able to forgive him for what he did. Yes, she had met Dina and eventually Elena, but she never thought that they would find each other again, or that Jarek would even ask her for her hand. It was in a sense the true meaning of love._

“Teresa, are you okay?”  
She broke out of her daydreaming to find Jarek standing in front of her, holding onto her arms. She flinched when she realized she’d been dazing, and it took her a few moments to regain her bearings.  
“Sorry, I was just thinking about things.”  
“Like what?”  
“Just stuff,” she said, showing a fake smile and looking down, hoping he would drop it. He did when his eye was drawn to something else resting on a nearby table. She saw where his eye was leading him and adrenaline instantly filled her. He reached for it, the paper streaked in red and she started to take it from him, but held back because she didn’t want him to see her face. He started to read it in front of her, and she tried to calm herself, gripping the handle of the oven. She saw his expression change many times while he was reading, and finally he looked up at her.  
“What it this?,” he asked, turning it around to show her.  
She could feel her resolve breaking, unable to tell him that what he was reading was real, that someone was after him, that he could possibly die; so she tried to run away, but he caught her arm and pulled her back.  
“How long have you known about this? Why didn’t you tell me?”  
“Jarek, please.”  
“Please, what? I want to know.” She didn’t like how forceful he was becoming, or how tightly he was holding onto her arm. But he kept staring at her, and she felt she had no choice.  
“Tell me.”  
“I’ve….I’ve known for a while,” she said through her tears. “It was right after we came back from our honeymoon.” He let go of her arm finally, and she felt as if a weight had been lifted off her. “It was just lying on my desk, as if someone had carelessly put it there. I didn’t want to tell you because I thought it would interfere with your work. I wanted to protect you, not scare you.”  
“Who else knows?”  
She wiped her eyes, before pausing to say, “Caleb.”  
His reaction changed and he turned away from her. Hearing Caleb’s name so soon after the accident still got to him. But instead of getting angry, he enveloped her in a hug, where she cried on his shoulder. Everything had been building to this moment, her past, her present and her future. It all felt as if it was being decided now.  
“I’m so sorry, Jarek. So sorry about Caleb. So sorry for everything.” He held her tightly, listening to her. She pulled back and continued. “Everything’s changed. I’ve changed. I’m not the same person I was two years ago. I just feel so weak sometimes, so useless.”  
“You’re never useless, Teresa.” He took her face in his hands.  
“What if they find us? I know it wasn’t explicitly stated in the report, but we know they’re out there looking for us. What are we going to do?” She knew she was rambling and bit her lip to stop as Jarek interrupted her.  
“No, no Teresa. Listen to me. We’re not going to be those people. Those people that hide, or move around to foil the bad guys. We’re not going to be them. We’re going to stay right here and work together, okay?”  
She nodded and his hands dropped to wrap them around her. Teresa suddenly felt other feelings return as she wrapped her hands around him as well.  
“I love you and nothing is going to happen to either of us.”  
She kissed him then, a little harder than she would have liked, but, she realized she had needs. They broke away for only seconds before resuming the act, sighing and panting feverishly. She soon felt Jarek’s hands reaching down to take the hem of her skirt and slowly raise it up her legs. She moaned as he dipped down to kiss her neck and then he lifted her onto the counter.  
“Why were you wearing a skirt today?,” he asked, breaking away, the moments before completely forgotten.  
“Isn’t it obvious?,” she said, smiling devilishly. He smiled back before she reached for his shirt and began unbuttoning it. He in turn took off the cream colored blouse she had been wearing before returning to kiss her.  
She giggled, and that was when he decided to take her in his arms to their bedroom.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Music: "Set Fire To The Rain" by Adele


	5. Dreams

Teresa was hunched over Mary’s kitchen table looking intently at a calendar, silently counting to herself. She was still in her pajamas, blue flannel pants and a white tank top after spending the week at Mary’s to give not only her but Jarek some “me” time. She counted faster willing herself to not believe what she was seeing. “One, two, three, four, five , six, seven, eightnineteneleven.” As her eyes scanned the page, she suddenly took the spoon she was about to put in her mouth and put it back in the cereal bowl.

At that precise moment Mary walked in.

“What are you doing?”

Teresa did not look up immediately but was staring at the calendar slightly agape. Mary wondered what could possibly be so interesting about a calendar this early in the morning.

“Teresa?”

At the sound of her name Teresa looked up. Mary could see her eyes were glistening and prepared herself for whatever she was about to launch on her. Teresa had not really been herself all this week, even when she had taken her to their favorite places to get away from the pressures of work. She walked further into the room to stand in front of Teresa who looked like she was about to cry. Kneeling down she took Teresa’s hands into hers and gently asked what was wrong.

“So many things are wrong, Mary. So many things I don’t even know where to start. Jarek and I….” She took a breath as tears started to fall. “Jarek and I needed some time away from each other. We were both stressing out over too many things, and then the thing with Caleb happened which threw everything off. “

Mary turned away from her at the mention of his name.

Teresa knew she shouldn’t have mentioned him because it was reminding her of the secret, one that she had never told anyone except Jarek and Caleb. She didn’t want Mary to know about the police report or the people that were hunting them down. It would put too much stress on her and Caleb’s relationship. She was happy with Caleb and that’s how Teresa wanted it to be.

Mary was about to speak when Teresa continued. “But then this happened and it’s totally unexpected and so soon, and it wasn’t even like we were trying…”  
“Trying? What do you mean?”  
Teresa smiled through her tears and waited for the realization to cross her friend’s face. It did in a tumultuous wave when Mary gasped and held Teresa’s hands tighter.

“I’m pregnant.”

Mary should have known, should have seen that look in Teresa’s eyes. It was that look of pure joy that only mothers have. She knew it so well. It had been a part of her past life, and surely not with Caleb, but it had happened to her once and it did not end well. It had crushed her but she had recovered, and now she wished in this moment that whatever blessing she could conjure up would help her best friend in this journey she was about to start.

Mary gathered her into a hug, her own tears beginning to form in her eyes. “Oh Teresa, I’m so happy for you!” Pulling back she held Teresa’s face in her hands. “You’re going to be a great mom, and I know you’ve wanted this for a long time. After all you’ve been through Teresa, you and Jarek deserve this more than anything.”  
“Thank you Mary,” she said with the utmost gratitude. “Thank you for being there for me through everything. You’ve never questioned anything I’ve ever done and I’m so grateful for that.” Mary smiled back, wiping away tears before something dawned on her.

“But how did you find out? Did you take tests? Did you see a doctor?”  
“Yes, I did in fact do all of those things.” She saw Mary was going to protest but continued. “While you weren’t looking.” Mary gave her a quizzical look. “But, we were always together. How did you manage to get away?”  
“I have my ways.”  
“You were always good at that.”  
“So, did you literally count the days from when you think you….”  
“Yes, I did and let’s not go there.”  
Teresa smiled and looked down for a moment before she became serious. “I seriously didn’t want to believe it at first. I took the tests, then went to the doctor where he confirmed it, and after I left I was so happy but so scared at the same time. I just never thought my job, my career would allow for this.”  
Mary listened intently.  
“Hell, I never thought I would marry Jarek let alone have a child with him.” She smiled widely at the thought of him.  
“When are you going to tell him?”  
Teresa laughed. “I don’t know. Not right now before work. He’d never be able to concentrate.”

Mary turned suddenly from her position on the floor as she heard a noise coming from outside. Quietly getting off the floor, she padded into the living room to see who it was. Pulling back the curtain, she smiled with pride as she saw the familiar grey Crown Victoria pull up across the street.  
“Who is it!?,” Teresa said as she stood in the hallway.  
“It’s Jarek.  
At the mention of his name, Teresa slowly walked over, anticipation filling her. She saw him open the door and get out, walking around to the passenger side where he leaned against the car. She saw him squint against the morning sun, and then reach into his pocket for his phone. It was just any other morning. Routine for him. She felt herself drifting back into the past.

 _Teresa got out of the car first before Jarek had any time to open the door for her. Because she was also a little devil she decided to see who could get up the stairs to her apartment fast enough. Already having a head start, she fumbled with the keys to the door and raced up the only flight of stairs to her apartment, 1B. She turned around only once and saw Jarek was right behind her. She thought for only a second how he could have possibly gotten up those stairs fast enough before she reached the door and touched it._

 _“Beat ya,” she said turning around with pride and out of breath._

 _That was all she could say before he planted her against the door his mouth crashing against hers. Unforgiving he was for not letting her break free to breathe, but a part of her didn’t care as she held onto him tightly. He moved to her neck and she sighed in the confined space. Feeling daring, she decided to nibble at his ear. It lasted for only seconds but the jolt she felt to her system was unlike anything she’d ever experienced.  
“I need you, Teresa,” he said pulling back his voice low and full of want. She looked into his eyes feeling that ever creeping nervousness return.  
“No, Jarek.”  
“Why?”  
“I can’t.”  
“Yes, you can. You can and you will.”  
Her brow furrowed. She did not like when Jarek talked to her like that, nor did he like when she stared at him like that.  
He said nothing as he turned away to walk back down the stairs, but not before she grabbed him and kissed him again.  
“I love you.”  
She saw him blink twice before turning away.  
“I’ll see you tomorrow?”  
He looked up at her from the stairs and said, “Yeah, I’ll see you tomorrow.”  
She watched him walk down the last few stairs before turning to her own room a smile on her face._

“You mean he’s not coming up?”  
“No, he never does,” she said broken from her daydreaming.  
“Does he hold the door open for you?”  
“Yes, Mary he does.”  
“Well he better with your condition.”  
“Please don’t call it a “condition,” Mary. I hate when people call it that.” She turned around to see her walking away. Mary whipped back around and said smirking, “Oh and I suppose those are the hormones kicking in right now?” Teresa laughed before she found a towel nearby to throw in her direction. Mary left, shrieking into the bedroom when Teresa heard her call out: “Your phone’s going off!”  
“I know!”  
“How do you know? Your phone’s in here!”  
Teresa did not reply but watched with delight as Jarek kept looking down at his phone in frustration furiously punching in numbers.

“Teresa, answer your goddamn phone!”  
He felt like throwing it into the ground, smashing it into little pieces. He wanted a new one anyway. Most of the time his calls were dropped which was not good considering he was a high ranking police officer. Pacing around the car he was suddenly drawn to Mary’s house as he saw the door open and Teresa step out.

She bounded down the stairs and was walking fast towards him. He didn’t know why, but threw out his arms and was about to berate her for losing or breaking her phone when he found himself pressed against the car, Teresa kissing him hard. He felt his phone leave his hand, heard it shatter on the pavement.

She pulled away leaving him breathless. They both did not say anything for a few moments. He stared at her, trying to figure out what was different. Her hair and clothes were askew as if she rushed in a hurry to see him. It wasn’t like her to be this way before work.

“Wow, somebody missed me,” he said breaking the silence. She smiled back at him. “I did.” She held his gaze for what seemed like a long time. She wanted to tell him so badly, but held back her excitement. She wanted him to wait as long as it took before she exploded with happiness.

“Sorry about your phone.” Jarek looked down at it, it’s battery cover having flown off form the force of it hitting the pavement. He bent down to pick it up, putting the cover back on.

“Is it broken?”  
“No,” he sighed turning it over in his hand.. “It’s not unfortunately. I wish it was though. This thing only works about half the time I’ve used it.” He put it back in his vest.

“Well, I’ve definitely heard that from you before,” she said hinting at the debacle with the radios.

“I have a surprise for you. And since it seems you have surprised me, I only thought it would be appropriate.” He stepped from her embrace gesturing to the back of the car. She looked back at him in confusion.

“Go ahead. Open the door.” Timidly, she reached for the door when it opened before she could touch it. A man in a police uniform with sandy brown hair stepped out of the car. Teresa had not seen in weeks, thinking the worst had happened. Seeing him now she could feel a mountain of emotions threatening to spill over. Slightly grimacing, he stood before her and said only one word: “Hi.”

Jarek saw his wife’s face change from complete confusion into utter delight, her eyes widening at the sight of a dear friend who weeks before had been living on life’s edge.

“Caleb!”

He smiled widely and then found Teresa in his arms, tears flowing from her. “I’m so glad you’re okay!”

Caleb held his dear friend and mentor to him, cherishing the embrace. There were times lying in that bed when he thought he’d never see her again. Looking up at his best friend, glassy eyed, he saw Jarek admiring his show of affection. He was glad for the approval.

“I hate to break up the festivities, but we need to get into town,” Jarek said. We’re going to be late if we don’t.”

Caleb pulled Teresa back so she was facing him, putting her hands on either side of his face. “I’m so sorry I wasn’t there for you as much as I wanted to be. “  
Caleb reached for her hands and put them back at her side.  
“You don’t have to apologize. I know that you did all you could to be there for me. I just hope you find the person who did this so it doesn’t happen to others.” He glanced at Jarek who was watching them with a look of anxious concern. He looked down at his watch and Caleb’s stomach turned uncomfortably.

Images he didn’t want to remember were suddenly coming to him. Teresa’s voice became much softer and quieter as they hurtled towards him. He stared at the ground stuck in his own world as he saw himself being held in Jarek’s arms. Death seemed to be swiftly ascending upon him. He saw tears in Jarek’s eyes, heard the desperation in his voice as he tried to hold onto what seemed the inevitable. He felt the touch of his hand trying to give him strength.

“Guys we really need to get going,” Jarek said with annoyance. Caleb jolted out of his reverie to see Teresa looking at him strangely. He smiled awkwardly at her before Jarek opened the passenger side door for her. Closing the door, he fixed Caleb with a cold stare before turning around and walking to his side of the car.

Caleb stood for a few moments processing the thoughts he’d just experienced. He came to the conclusion that there was another reason why he got shot and almost died. Another reason why someone had preyed on him to get to Jarek. He wondered if it was only a matter of time before they tried to….. He looked up at Teresa’s side of the car and tried to shake it off. No, she’s one of my closest friends. They wouldn’t even dare.  
But Caleb could not shake the feeling from his mind as he stepped into the car and it drove off. He wrestled with it on the long, slow drive into the city. An uncomfortable silence had permeated the car magnifying his feelings tenfold. He tried to stare straight ahead hoping the passing buildings would calm him. His eyes happened to travel across the rear-view mirror where he saw Jarek stealing glances at him. The police report kept rolling around inside his mind, the paper splattered in red ink of places Teresa and Jarek had gone, places that had so much meaning for them. His stomach rolled again as he thought of it. He saw Jarek looking in the mirror again and quickly turned to the window to avoid him and hopefully calm his raging stomach.

They hit a patch of traffic and Jarek swore. He suddenly remembered who he was with and turned to look at Teresa who was frowning. “Sorry.”  
“You know I don’t like it when you do that,” she said rubbing her forehead. He rolled his eyes which she did not see.  
“Is something up?,” he said reaching a hand behind her head. She let her head roll back onto his hand. “No. Why?,” she said tiredly.  
“You just haven’t been like yourself since I saw you earlier. It’s like something’s bugging you and I want to know what it is.”  
He took his arm back and Teresa let her head rest against the seat, closing her eyes only for a moment.  
“I’ll be fine Jarek.”  
Smiling, she reached over and took his hand in hers, squeezing it lightly.

Caleb saw Teresa reach over to take Jarek’s hand, their wedding rings catching light through the windows. He saw how content they were and wished he could feel that. It sent a wave of despair and worry through him despite their happiness. He turned away from them as the car moved again and he was left alone with his thoughts.

\-----------------------------------------------------

They reached the station a few minutes later than usual. Teresa walked with both Caleb and Jarek heading towards her office. The pounding inside her head had not subsided as she had hoped it would. Mar y had told her all about what morning sickness was like but she didn’t think it included headaches. She thought it was supposed to….. As soon as she thought of it it happened. Her stomach lurched horribly causing her to stop in stride. She placed a hand on her forehead and found it to be warm. She then felt a hand on her arm.  
“Teresa, are you okay?,” Caleb asked. He looked back at Jarek who was still walking towards her office completely oblivious. He was about to call for him before she yanked him back to attention.  
“Caleb.”  
“Teresa you really don’t look so good. I should take you home.”  
“No! Don’t take me home and don’t tell Jarek.”  
“Don’t tell Jarek about what?” Her stomach lurched again.  
“Oh god, I think I’m going to be sick.” She squeezed his arm tighter and told him to get her to a bathroom as quickly as he could.

He waited patiently outside trying to ignore the persistent but curious stares from others and the sound of Teresa hurling her guts out. Jarek had mysteriously been forgotten left to wander the halls without her. He was a little surprised he hadn’t tried to contact her. Feeling foolish just standing there he turned around and knocked on the door.

“Teresa? You all right in there?”

She leaned over the toilet, holding her stomach and waiting impatiently for the waves of nausea to pass. She didn’t think this was going to be this painful or exhausting. Pushing back a lock of her hair that was plastered to her face she leaned back against the stall. Her clothes had not been dirtied, thank god. She wouldn’t have to run home after all and get a change of clothes. Looking down she thought of all the changes she was going to experience over the next nine months. Running her hand across her stomach she could feel the tiniest of mounds there. Smiling she thought of what Jarek would say when she told him.

The knock on the door startled her. “You all right Teresa?,” Caleb said walking in. She quickly got up off the floor and felt all the blood rush to her head. Caleb reacted in time to catch her.

“Are you sure you don’t want me to take you home,” he pressed. “No, Caleb, really. I’m okay.” He didn’t seem convinced. She saw it in his eyes and decided right then to tell him.  
“I’m sorry Caleb. “  
“There you go apologizing again. Just tell me. What is it?” Teresa took a breath before letting it out.  
“I just didn’t want anyone close finding out, especially Jarek. I wanted it to be a surprise.”  
“Wanted what to be a surprise?”  
“I’m pregnant.”  
She saw his eyes widen a bit and relief spread across his face. “Oh wow, Teresa. I mean you had me going there, I thought it was something seriously bad. But this, this is wonderful. Jarek’s going to be so proud.”  
“Yes, which is why you and I will be keeping this as our little secret.” Caleb liked the idea.  
“Well you have to tell him sometime.”  
“I know. I have a plan.”  
“Oh really?” She nodded.  
“Well you can tell me about this plan outside before someone finds us in here and starts spreading rumors.”  
She laughed the bout of sickness gone as he opened the bathroom door and they walked out together.

\------------------------------------------------------------

“Beat 55-33 on route to the location now.” Caleb clicked off the radio and looked over at Jarek. He knew Jarek was thinking the same thing too. The sensations from the last time Caleb was out on a run still lingered in the air and he knew Jarek was going to be extra protective.  
“You’re going to be all right, kid.”  
This time Caleb did not smile at his partner’s remark. All he could do was meet Jarek’s gaze full of worry. He’d recovered, gone to therapy, listened to everyone telling him it would all pass with time. He didn’t want to believe any of it. They never felt what he felt that day. How could they ever know what it was like to stare down the barrel of your own gun? That oppressive feeling of being trapped,; of having nowhere to go and no one to save you. The two bullets that slammed into his chest should have killed him. Maybe he was lucky and the guy didn’t have good aim.  
“We’re here.”  
Caleb looked down for a moment as the car pulled in front of the house. He reached to touch the ache behind his ribs was beginning again. It was an annoyance he wished would go away as it would forever serve as reminder of that day. He recollected his thoughts before joining Jarek on the sidewalk. Falling in line behind Jarek, guns drawn, he started to experience déjà vu. He tried as much as he could to push those feelings aside as they neared the entrance.

“You’re going to be fine,” Jarek said turning around to face him. “It’s just like any day on the job.” Caleb tried to convey a sense of confidence to his partner, but failed as Jarek opened the door. He followed Jarek inside and began to scan the darkened living room. Looking up he saw pictures on the wall, and down magazines strewn on a coffee table. They both passed a door which lead to the basement. Jarek did not go down it. Relieved, Caleb followed him down a hallway and into the kitchen. They both stopped and lowered their guns at the sight before them.

A man bathed in a black shadow was holding a gun to a young girl’s head. She was kneeling in front of them, whimpering through the tape across her mouth.

“Put your guns down now,” he whispered underneath his breath and through the mask he was wearing. Both Caleb and Jarek exchanged anxious looks before slowly lowering their guns to the floor.

“Now, let me see your hands.” Slowly, they rose from the floor both watching the gun he had trained on them.

““We’re not here to hurt you,” Jarek said. Immediately, the gun shifted in his direction. Caleb flinched slightly and tried to control his instincts to protect his partner.  
“We’re just here to help.” Jarek held his hands higher in front of him to show he was not hiding anything.  
“See? I don’t have anything on me. I just have the gun that I put on the floor. Why don’t we just talk about why you did this to this girl, okay?” He had started to slowly inch towards her keeping eye contact the entire time. He continued to corner them until the shadow man thought he had gone too far. The gun snapped back to attention, its hammer cocked in position straight at Jarek.

Caleb tried to swallow his fear. He immediately began to scan the room for a way out. The only things standing in the way of escape were a kitchen table and the kitchen itself. The man and the girl he was holding hostage were between them, with a door leading to the outside. He also became painfully aware of an ache building inside his chest.

Jarek froze. Suddenly he was very afraid of the glowing piece of metal before him. He wanted badly to turn to his partner for a way out but he didn’t want to sacrifice losing the girl.

He knew what the ache was and as it grew stronger he knew this was the kind of distraction they needed. The man looked over just as he grimaced in pain.

“What’s wrong with him?” The gun wavered in his hand and Jarek took the opportunity launching himself on top of him while the girl broke free and rolled off to the side. The gun shot off in the process, punching a hole in the ceiling and the girl screamed. Jarek wrestled with him briefly and then slapped cuffs on him immediately calling for Caleb to attend to the girl. He made sure she was all right and took the tape off of her mouth. She mouthed a “Thank you” as she clung to him. Looking over his shoulder, he met eyes with Jarek and both men expressed relief that the ordeal was over.

Teresa placed two tall crystal glasses on the kitchen table in preparation for Jarek coming home. She felt satisfied having taken the rest of the day off for her illness, at least that’s what she told everyone. She smiled at the thought and heard the key turn in the door. Excitement building, she stood at the ready, champagne glasses in hand.

Jarek opened the door and was about to put his bags down when something caught his eye. Turning to his left he looked up and saw his wife standing in their dining room holding two champagne glasses, a beaming smile on her face.

“What’s this?,” he asked walking around the table to her. He noticed she was wearing one of her favorite sweaters and that she’d taken time to prepare for this. He took one of the glasses from her hand and remembered how she’d felt that morning. “Are you s still not feeling well from this morning?”  
“No, Jarek. I feel fine. Actually, better than fine.” She looked down, blushing.  
Taking his thumb and forefinger he placed them underneath her chin so she had nowhere to look but into his eyes.  
“Just tell me what’s going on.”  
She loved that about him, how he never beat around the bush. Straight and to the point every single time.  
She took a breath and for the third time that day said it. “I’m pregnant.”  
Jarek studied her trying to make himself believe what he’d just heard. When her expression didn’t change and her eyes filled with tears he asked, ”Really?” Teresa could hear emotion creeping into his voice.  
“Yes, really.” He put the champagne glass down and she held onto his arms for support. It was only then that she saw the tears start to fall from his eyes.  
“Jarek, it’s okay. Don’t cry. You’re going to make me cry,” she said smiling through her tears.  
Pulling him into a hug, they both shed tears of joy on each others shoulders.  
“We’re really going to start a family?”  
“Yes Jarek we really are,” she said holding his face in her hands. He kissed her in return unable to contain his emotions. “I love you so much,” he said running a hand along the side of her face.  
“As do I,” she said in return capturing his lips again. Wrapping her arms around his neck she brought him deeper the champagne all but forgotten.

\----------------------------------------------------------

Caleb walked into the apartment he shared with Mary weary from the day’s work. He shed his overcoat and bags by the doorway and made his way straight to the bedroom. Walking through it, he entered the bathroom and started to get ready for bed. As soon as he exited and his head hit the pillow, he fell asleep and started to dream.

He was walking through the same house he and Jarek had been to earlier that day. The living room wall was covered in pictures and the coffee table strewn with magazines. He turned and noticed Jarek was not beside him so he ventured further into the home past the bedrooms in the hallway and into a familiar room. A sense of foreboding filled him as he saw Jarek standing in between the kitchen and kitchen table with the door to the backyard in front of him. He walked up to him and was about to ask him something when he saw the look on Jarek’s face.  
He was expecting to see the terrified young girl, shaking and cold, a piece of tape across her mouth and a gun pointed at her. Instead he saw Jarek’s niece Vonda, kneeling on the floor, her arms tied behind her back. The same man in shadow had a gun pointed at her head and she was looking down at the floor. Caleb then saw what Jarek had been staring at. Her uniform and clothes were spattered with blood as if she had been shot a number of times.  
Jarek stood still in shock, unable to say or do anything. Then, as if someone had been speaking to her, she raised her head and spoke directly to him.

“You were supposed to protect me Jarek. Protect me from those men that wanted to hurt me when I was five. You remember that don’t you? Or the same men that wanted to kidnap me and take me far away from you? I didn’t want that. I joined the police because of you. Because you believed in me and I thought you were going to protect me. But you didn’t and now I’m dead because of you.

I don’t know what’s the matter with you. You can’t protect me or your brother or our mother, father and all of our brothers and sisters. You are weak Jarek!”

Her voice had risen in pitch until now. It tapered off and her face softened as if she was sorry for yelling at her uncle. “All I wanted was your approval Jarek. That’s all I ever wanted from you. I wanted to be just like you.”

Caleb turned back to Jarek who had taken a few steps backwards. He could hardly see him in the thick darkness of the room. When he looked back, the scene had changed and he heard Jarek’s small and feeble voice call out her name.

“Teresa?”

She was kneeling where Vonda had previously been hands tied behind her back, wearing a long and flowing gown that did not conceal she was with child. He took a few steps towards her his hand reaching out towards her and Caleb could see that he was crying. Suddenly the shadow moved and the gun was pressed against her temple. She grimaced slightly at the feel of the cold metal against her skin but did not look up.

“Don’t come any closer. He’ll kill us again if you do.”

Jarek dropped to his knees before her overcome with grief. “I don’t understand.”  
“Of course you do.”  
“No, I don’t.”  
“Yes, you do!,” she said forcefully looking up at him causing Jarek to look up as well.  
“They came and took me while you were away. You went looking for me like I always knew you would. You searched everywhere for me and I hoped that you would find me.” Her voice shook as she said her next words. The barrel of the gun pressed harder into her temple. He reached out for her but she seemed so far away. He wanted to stop all of the pain she was in.  
“But you never came back. I waited for you but you never came back.”  
Caleb began to take steps backward to find an escape. He felt as if he was being suffocated. He turned around looking for the hallway that was not there.  
“You never came home that day.”

Who’s going to be the next person I see. Me? Mary? Jarek? He didn’t want to turn back around. His emotions were starting to surface and he needed to get out. Something was forcing him to stay here and he didn’t understand why.

He slammed his fists against invisible walls. “I need to get out!” Sighing in frustration he noticed that he could not hear Jarek or Teresa talking anymore. Turning to his right he no longer saw Jarek kneeling on the floor. Fear flooded through him. Slowly he turned back around where his worst fears were confirmed.

Kneeling on the floor under the same watchful gaze of the man in shadows was his best friend. Caleb could feel his eyes becoming misty. He willed his legs not to carry him forward but they did.

“I’m so sorry Jarek. I couldn’t protect you like you couldn’t protect the others. I failed you and I’m so sorry.”  
“You didn’t fail.”  
Caleb blinked unaware of what Jarek had just said.  
“I failed. I couldn’t save you when I thought I could. And I can’t save you now just as you can’t save me.”  
He saw the gun press harder into Jarek’s temple, heard it being cocked into place.  
Tears ran down Caleb’s face as he knew what he was about to watch.  
Jarek affixed Caleb with a look of pure content on his face. The man slowly pulled the trigger and Caleb’s breath caught in his throat.  
 _“I love you Caleb.”_  
Then Caleb woke up.


	6. Uncertainty

Caleb awoke with a start his heart pounding frantically in his chest. He checked to make sure he had not suffered the same fate as Jarek, Vonda and Teresa had. Placing his hand on his chest he tried to calm the burning behind his ribs.

“Caleb, are you all right?” He’d been so preoccupied with himself he hadn’t noticed Mary had also awoken beside him. He turned to her noticing the worried look on her face. “I’m fine. I just had a bad dream that’s all.”  
“Are you sure? You don’t look good.”  
“I’m fine Mary. Really.” Throwing off the covers he slowly padded to the bathroom closing the door behind him. Turning on the water he splashed himself vigorously, the images still fresh in his mind. Vonda. Teresa. Jarek. Three people that meant a lot to him and who would willingly give their lives for him. As the water poured off his face swirling into the drain before him, Jarek’s face could not leave his mind. Fresh tears threatened to fall as he felt the burning ache slowly building in his chest again, turning his face red. Sliding to the floor his back against the counter, he let the rivers of tears fall from his face. He knew he was alone, knew that what Teresa, Jarek and himself were trying to accomplish was foolish. They’d never be able to find whoever tried to kill him, and even with the reward Chicago was a big city. Those men could be hiding anywhere and could have all kinds of plans up their sleeves. When the waves of emotion subsided, he gathered himself off the floor and poured himself some water. Looking towards the door he noticed Mary had not come for him. He was glad in that moment for the last thing he wanted her to know was their secret. He didn’t want to put her through the same kind of pain he was in now. He needed to protect her and love her unconditionally, as she did for him. Checking the mirror once more, he slowly padded back to bed. Leaning over he placed a kiss on her forehead. She stirred softly, turning over. He smiled before tucking himself in.

\---------------------------------------------

“Do you really want to go to this thing?” Jarek squinted at the invitation he was reading. Teresa heard him in the other room, her stomach growling at the smell of food. Groaning slightly, she put the newspaper down and slowly padded to the kitchen. She saw Jarek had started up some eggs, which were frying in a pan, and then her eyes traveled towards him seated at the table, his back hunched squinting through his glasses. A smile crossed her face. She always loved when he wore his glasses.  
“You shouldn’t do that to your eyes. They’ll go bad.”  
“Says who?, he said removing his glasses.  
“Me.” Jarek looked up to see Teresa standing above him, barefoot and in pajamas.  
“Well, the writings so small I wouldn’t be able to see it if I didn’t squint.”  
Teresa walked to the counter where Jarek had a pan of eggs cooking. She picked up a spatula stirring them. “You still shouldn’t do that,” she said pointing the spatula at him. Jarek watched her as she turned back towards the eggs. He’d been slowly noticing the changes in her physique, her emotions. He felt both nervous and excited at the same time as he let his eyes roam over every inch of her before he got up from the table. Teresa, noticing how quiet it had become felt Jarek’s eyes burning into her back. She was about to turn around when she felt his arms wrap around her growing belly. The sharp uptick in her heart rate caused her to drop the spatula, clattering to the floor. She looked down at it once before she heard Jarek whisper in her ear: “You're beautiful."  
“What did I tell you about that?,” she said, feeling the rush in her chest and her breathing catch. She leaned into his embrace, letting him enjoy the pleasure of holding her.  
“Tell me about what?”  
“You know when you do that it drives my hormones crazy?”  
“Does it?”  
“Yes, it does.”  
“Do you want me to stop?”  
She turned around seeing the smirk cross his face.  
“No,” she said, the corners of her mouth turning up. Taking his hand, she placed hers over his and held his gaze intently.  
She was only about a month along but it had already felt like an eternity. At times she wasn’t sure if she would be able to carry on. She seemed to always be jumping from one emotion to the next and she was afraid that one day she would just snap in front of him. This baby she felt was the only thing that was keeping her and Jarek from going insane. The truth was it was hard for her to find much happiness which is why she cherished moments like these when she was away from the job, away from prying eyes.  
“What are you going to do when he starts kicking?”  
Jarek saw the corner of her mouth curve upward. He had been hoping for that.  
“What makes you think it’s a he?”  
"I don't. I'm just hoping that's all."  
“Well, in eight months time I better not find you disappointed if it’s a girl.” He stood for a second processing that thought.  
“It’s already been a month?”  
“Yes, it has, “ she said looking over her shoulder.   
“Wow, that went by fast.” She turned back to the eggs, moving them around in the pan.  
“What are you hoping it will be?”  
“A son would be nice.”  
“And?”  
“And what?”  
“And if it’s a girl?”  
“Please, I don’t need another woman in the house. I can barely handle you,” he said jokingly. She laughed and turned back to the eggs only to find them singed to a crisp. She then noticed the spatula on the floor which she had completely forgotten about. Jarek saw her reaction and laughed along with her.  
He left her side and picked up the invitation. “So,” he said, waving it in her direction. “Are we going to this or not?” Teresa walked over and took the card from him. They’d been invited to an annual Christmas party downtown. She smiled immediately. “Yes, we’re going.”  
“Why?”  
“Because I’ve been to it before and it’s worth the time.” She in fact knew the people who threw it every year.  
“And why do I have to go?”  
“Because you’re the husband of the Superintendent.” She knew Jarek hated going to downtown parties because of their pretentious nature. She remembered how she literally had to drag him to their wedding reception.  
“It’ll be fun."  
Jarek rolled his eyes. “Where have I heard that before?”  
Teresa looked up at the time just as the sun broke over the horizon. “Uh, we need to be going downtown.”  
“What about breakfast?”  
“We’ll get it on the way.”  
She walked fast down the hallway to the bathroom with Jarek on her heels.  
“You shouldn’t be eating on the run!”  
“I’ll be fine!,” she shouted behind her as she went into the bathroom slamming the door.  
“I’m just saying,” he said into the door, “that maybe you should take it easy.”  
She opened the door rather abruptly and he saw her expression had completely changed. She was rushing again.  
“You do realize I have thought about these things right? My doctor said I was fine, “moving along quite nicely, baby’s healthy,” that sort of thing.”  
“I know. I know. It’s just that I worry about you.”  
“You shouldn’t. I’m fine Jarek, really. I have everything under control. Now, can I get dressed before we’re late again for the second time in a week?”  
She closed the door again, leaving him feeling defeated in the hallway.  
Sighing, she placed her hands beside the sink. No Teresa, you don’t have anything under control. Your life is moving so fast you can’t keep up! You almost let one of your own die out there at the hands of your husband? You can’t keep protecting him like this. What are you going to do when this baby comes? How are you and Jarek going to raise it? And this case…..it’s eating you alive isn’t it?  
“Stop it,” she told herself.  
It was true though. Her conscience seemed to be making more appearances than it had in the past. She didn’t want to start believing what her mind wanted it to. She needed to be strong for Jarek, for her child, for her people. They were counting on her more than anything. And as for the case, well she had her best people working on it.  
“Sorry about the spatula.”  
She turned around startled. How long was he there? Did he hear what I was thinking? When she heard him padding away to the bedroom, she turned and felt all of her doubts come rushing back.

\------------------------------------------------------

“Come in!”  
The door opened and both Caleb and Jarek stepped in. She was facing the window when she heard the knock, lost in her thoughts. “I have that new case for you.” She sighed inwardly, knowing that’s not why Jarek was here. Turning around, she was surprised to see Caleb was there as well. She knew what was happening. Bringing Caleb here meant he was using him as leverage, hoping a familiar face would convince her.....  
“What is this pressing matter that you wanted to talk to me about?” She turned around, already knowing the reason why they were standing there and hating it. Jarek watched her carefully, her eyes like stone, still amazed that she was an entirely different person when she was working. Calm, cool, collected; he would never have known his own wife was standing before him.  
Teresa wished he would not stare at her like that, his gaze penetrating into the deepest depths of her soul. When she was around him sometimes she felt like losing control. Leaving behind everything this job had given her. It was like a double-edged sword; giving her power and authority but at the same time sucking away her soul, leaving her a lifeless being. But when she was with him, everything was different. She was herself, the person she was forced to hide when she was the Superintendent.  
“Both Caleb and I want in on this case.” His voice jolted her out of her thoughts. Immediately she settled back into her mode. She held both detectives’ gaze and said with finality:  
“Absolutely not.”  
“Why?” She recoiled slightly at Caleb’s remark, unable to understand his apparent breach of authority. She saw that pleading look of want on his face. She felt her commanding presence in the room begin to wither. So instead she she tried what she knew best, force.  
“Because it’s dangerous detective, and if I remember correctly you almost died because of one of them.” She leaned over the desk, her words slicing through him.  
“And if it weren’t for your partner here,” she emphasized, pointing at Jarek, “you may as well not be here now.” She saw Caleb lean backwards trying to create space between them. “I hope you haven’t forgotten that he saved your life.”  
She waited a moment before speaking again. Jarek had not moved an inch, keeping his gaze on her.  
“I’m not letting either of you get involved in a case like this, not when we’re all standing here as family.”  
She turned her back to the window, letting herself become calm willing the anxiety to leave her.  
“And Jarek,” she said turning around, “I would prefer you not take classified cases off of an officer’s desk. I trust Detective Valdez just as much if I had you assigned to this. But, because this case is tied directly to all three of us, and because of its severity, I cannot have you delving into the information, crossing lines and making assumptions.”   
Because I know what it will do to the both of you. I’ve seen it happen.  
Both detectives having nothing to say and feeling uncomfortable in the presence of their superior, started walking towards the door, but not before Teresa looked over her shoulder and said,  
“You’re dismissed.”  
Both men left and turning back to the window she felt her lip quiver. She bowed her head, willing to keep her emotions at bay. The tears did not fall, but she felt everything inside of her breaking. Jarek had left the case file on her desk, it’s large stack of papers beckoning her. She looked over at them, realizing she was fighting a losing battle. The detectives assigned to the case had been working for months nonstop, retracing tracks, visiting the places in question and coming up with nothing. Nothing to show that the Superintendent was in danger, nothing to show evidence of a vengeful stalker hell bent on destroying everything she had worked for. While they were still out there, she as well as Jarek and Caleb and everyone she cared about was vulnerable. She touched the glass hoping its coolness would relieve the turmoil inside her. Her other hand ran across her stomach feeling how much larger it had grown from just a month ago. Her hormones were still killing her, and combined with the nausea she was surprised no one in the department had found out yet. She wanted to keep it that way. The last thing she needed was ten thousand people worrying about her. Feeling a wave coming on, she winced and laid her head against the glass, where it immediately started to calm her. Sighing as the last of it faded away she looked up again, this time towards the skyline. It was late afternoon and the sun was set low on the horizon, the city covered in white. Her stomach jumped again in apprehension as she suddenly realized she was losing the power to protect her city.

\----------------------------------------------------

Jarek sat at the bar sharing a drink with Caleb on a rare day off. He stared blindly through the bottle unable to focus. The fatigue of the past few months was finally starting to wear on him. He had known for some time that this was going to happen with the way his life had been heading at a frantic pace. Between trying to handle being good police, Teresa’s mood swings, insomnia and the ever growing piles of cases on his desk he didn’t know how he’d managed. Downing adrenaline drinks was no longer helping him, he knew that for sure. Catching himself staring he moved off the counter and took another swig.  
“I don’t know if I can take much more of this,” he mumbled trying to rub the fatigue out of his eyes. Caleb turned to him mid-swig, unsure of what to say. He was a bit unsettled by his partner’s change in emotions. It wasn’t like him to openly complain about his job or his life. He’d always knew him as a strong and driven person, but now with the way his life was heading, it was becoming harder for Jarek to focus and easier for him to worry.  
“Because if it’s not the insomnia, it’s Teresa and if it’s not her then it’s the case, and if it’s not the case then it’s all the other cases I have to deal with.”  
Caleb listened silently wishing his partner would make it through this.  
“God, I can’t believe this,” he said massaging his temples.  
“What can’t you believe?”  
He stopped massaging and stole a sideways glance. He was starting to feel a headache coming on, and groaning knew then that he was a little drunk.  
“I just realized that I’m going to have to deal with this for eight more months.”  
Caleb smiled before taking another drink. “And you’re just figuring this out right now,” Caleb said matter-of-factly. “You know it’s only going to get worse.”  
Jarek turned to give him his full attention.  
“How do you know? You’re not the one with the pregnant wife,” he said underneath his breath.  
“You’re right I don’t, but I can imagine.” He placed his hand on Jarek’s shoulder. You’ll be fine. Trust me. If anyone can get through this, it’s you.”  
Jarek appreciated the support but still felt an uneasy feeling in his stomach that wasn’t from feeling buzzed or the headache.  
Someone entered the bar and Jarek looked over Caleb’s shoulder to see who it was. Through his hazy vision he could see it was a fellow officer, one that he knew very well. Jarek met his eye and he immediately walked over.  
“Wysocki! How the hell are ya!”  
“I’m doing well. Could be better though.” He firmly shook Jarek’s hand and acknowledged Caleb as well.   
“You?”   
“Eh, you know, the usual. Working too hard and too long.” He studied Jarek, knowing just by his body language that he was just a little bit drunk. A small smile played across his face. Good.  
Jarek was having a hard time focusing on Medina and because the conversation had stalled he was going to end it when Medina suddenly blurted out, “So, I’ve been meaning to ask you, how’s Teresa? I heard you two have a baby on the way.”  
Jarek’s body stiffened at the sound of her name. Immediately his vision became clear and everything around him came into sharp focus. He affixed Medina with a cold, hard stare. “How did you know about that?,” he said using the deepest registers of his voice.  
Caleb swallowed nervously.  
Medina, slightly shocked put his hands in front of him. “Whoa, Wysocki. Take it easy. I’m just trying to make conversation. Someone close told me.” Jarek got up from the stool he was sitting on reaching his full height, towering just enough over Medina. He made sure Medina was looking into his eyes as he said slowly, “Who told you about this?” Medina swallowed, unable to speak under Jarek’s glowering stare.  
“So you’re giving me the silent treatment now, huh?” He pushed Medina slightly. Caleb got off his stool ready to intervene.  
“Hey Jarek, take it easy.” When his partner glared at him, he put his hands up in surrender.  
“Who told you!” Jarek saw his vision become blurry again and knew it was the beer talking.  
“I told you. Someone close.”  
“That’s not good enough.”  
“All right, guys I think that’s enough,” Caleb said cautiously. They were beginning to attract attention. People poked their heads out of booths and turned around on their stools.  
“Stay out of this Evers,” Jarek warned again. Caleb stayed his ground and that was all the distraction that Medina needed for him to launch himself on Jarek. Caleb caught the brunt of Medina, stopping him from plowing straight into Jarek. Medina in turn threw a punch in Caleb’s direction but it was blocked by Jarek’s arm. He brought his other arm up and it connected with Medina’s jaw knocking him to the ground. He then began to wrestle with Medina as Caleb and others tried to pull them apart. When they finally were able to be separated, Medina had blood coming from his nose. Caleb was holding Jarek at bay. He looked at Jarek as everyone gathered around them.  
“You’re drunk Jarek. Maybe it’s time you go home to your wife.” Medina walked towards the door before muttering “Son of a bitch,” under his breath. Jarek shrugged out of Caleb’s grip, pacing the bar floor as the onlookers continued to gawk, leaving him feeling guilty.

\-------------------------------------------------------

She walked quickly, the wind biting through her peacoat towards the stairs of her home. She shivered as another gust broke, forcing her to pull the coat tight around her. She began to curse under her breath, angry at the cold but also angry that Jarek had not been there to pick her up. She knew she shouldn’t be selfish, to always expect him to be there. Ray was beside her and took a hold of her arm after he saw her shiver.  
“We’re almost there, ma’am.”  
She felt grateful in that moment that Ray had been there, saving her from the mountains of paperwork and cases that were consuming her. He’d stepped into her office and offered to get her a drink, and as he was about to turn away, he saw her hang her head. She was looking at her phone and from his point of view he could just make out that she had received a notification, probably a text message from Jarek. He knew then that she needed to go home, and that’s when she told him that Jarek wasn’t coming to pick her up.  
Teresa knew she shouldn’t be so dependent on him, wishing and hoping every day that he would be there at every moment. But, she couldn’t stand the thought that this was becoming a trend. For the third time in a week Jarek had bailed on her. Last week was the same too. They worked on different schedules and she never saw him most of the day, only when she needed him on an urgent case. She wanted to say she didn’t need him but everything was different now. They weren’t partners anymore, at least not in a police sense. They were married and that alone required a whole nother level of commitment. She hated coming home to an empty apartment, the one place that she was supposed to be able to escape and feel safe. Stepping through those doors meant more loneliness, more waiting. There would be no stopping it. There never was. She’d searched for every possible way to keep them together, changing schedules, trying to see him when he was out on the beat, but it never worked. She was always caught up in her own work, only realizing that she had to leave when her phone would go off or Ray would be waiting by the door. She would always come home first and then the waiting would start. She only felt relieved when he would walk through the door, setting his bags down, coming into the living room where she would be waiting for him. But even then she would set her eyes on him, scowling at what -- she didn’t know. Because he made her wait? But she knew that, right? He would reach for her, and she knew she wanted it but she would shrug him off, heading towards the stairs towards the second floor and their bedroom. She would see his defeated face as she ascended the stairs, emotions conflicting inside her.  
Ray hurried her up the stairs, placing his arm around her back for balance. She reached for the door handle and turned back to him. “I think this will be all for tonight, Ray,” she said reaching for a stray hair, curling it behind her ear.  
“Are you sure, ma’am?”  
“Yes, I’ll just wait for Jarek.” She could tell how worried he was about her, about what she was going through. She didn’t want another person watching over her like a hawk. See you did it again. You’re pushing people away. What’s gotten into you? Ray turned and walked down the steps. She watched him go, sighing as she stepped into the foyer of her empty home. As she put down her belongings and sat down on the couch, she began to realize what it was like to be married to a cop. When she and Jarek were colleagues it was different: there was no emotional baggage to deal with. She had authority over him, could take anything she wanted from him and there was never any question. But now, she was his wife and held responsibility for not only her own life but for their unborn child as well. She let the stillness of the room settle over her, the various creaks and groans of the house calm her nerves. Suddenly, a fierce wave of nausea ran through causing her to hold her stomach in pain. She winced as the pain became sharper, and her body told her she needed to get to the bathroom. Stumbling through the hallway and up the stairs, she reached the bathroom and the toilet as the first wave overtook her. She didn’t understand what she was feeling, the burning in her chest from the acid, and for a fleeting second she thought her body was rejecting the baby. No, please. Please don’t let me lose this. I’ve worked so hard to get where I am now, please let me just have this. Her body trembled with each wave and she prayed it would stop soon.  
Setting the keys down on the table near the door, Jarek entered the living room sighing. Rubbing fatigue out of his eyes, he looked up expecting to see his wife. He’d become so accustomed to her being there, waiting for him, a permanent scowl spread across her face. He would apologize profusely but she would just shrug it off, standing and leaving the room not wanting to hear his excuses. He started walking up the stairs to the second floor, hoping she would be there. Fear started to creep into the back of his mind as he didn’t see her in their bedroom or the nursery they had just begun to build. He looked down the hallway again and saw light coming from underneath the bathroom door. Slowly, he pushed the door open and saw his wife kneeling over the toilet, coughing into it. Instantly, he felt pity overcome him and a need to comfort her arose. He knelt down, placing his hands on both of her shoulders, taking them off the sides of the bowl she’d been desperately holding on to. He felt her body go limp as he cradled her in his arms. He could feel her shaking and that worried him.

Teresa heard the door slowly creak open behind her. She willed her body to stop shaking and for her breathing to become more regular. She felt a presence behind her and then strong hands being placed on her shoulders, taking her arms and prying them away from the porcelain bowl they’d been clutching. All of her strength left her body as she was taken into Jarek’s arms. curling her body into his. She rested her head on his shoulder taking deep, slow breaths as he ran a hand through her hair, peeling away strands that stuck to her face. She felt another shiver run through her as Jarek’s other hand come up across her back.  
“I’m exhausted,” she said, burying her face in his shoulder.  
Jarek said nothing.  
She traced her fingers over his face. “Did you have a good day today?”  
He nodded silently holding her tighter.  
“I’m fine, Jarek,” she said through her pain, her fingers grazing his face turning it towards her. She sounded feeble and weak and he could feel the anguish building inside him. He wanted so badly to help her but didn’t know what to do. Her fingers touching his face made his insides turn.  
“You’re sick Teresa. I want to help you but I don’t know what to do.” He felt her shaking again, her breathing labored.  
“You can’t help me.”  
She stared at the floor as she felt him pull away slightly, her face burning.  
Don’t push me away. You need me now more than ever.  
She closed her eyes and crawled to the wall away from him. When she felt she could speak again she said weakly, “It’s just morning sickness Jarek. It will go away in time.” He stared at her unable to say anything, and after a few moments left the room. Teresa continued to hug the wall, the last bit of strength having left her after he’d exited. The room felt lifeless and cold and alone with her thoughts she began to feel afraid, of her future, the thought of losing hope, and more importantly those she cared about. She turned back to the door, wishing he hadn’t left her alone. She didn’t want him to worry. He needed to focus on his job more than her well-being. She just didn’t expect it to be this hard. Her life had completely changed since marrying Jarek; it had become more complicated, more convoluted like a twisting path that never ended. She felt stuck on this path with too many directions to turn to, too many questions left unanswered, unable to respond to those she cared for. She loved Jarek with all she had and what she had growing inside of her only magnified those feelings. But everything before had seemed like a fairytale and only now was reality finally starting to settle in. As she kept staring at the door waiting for him to return, she felt numbness settling over her like bliss as she laid against the wall. It calmed her, and she welcomed it almost like a drug, her troubles far in the distance.


End file.
